You know when you need to walk away…

Heob14 · 2022-06-08T02:09:50+00:00

But your previous relationship was awful and you can’t believe this one’s going a similar way.. I feel so sad and disappointed..I feel like this must be something I do..

rea2022x · 08/06/2022 03:26

I'm so sorry OP. It's easy to blame ourselves when things go south. Can you give us a bit more detail on your situation if you feel comfortable?? Xxx

Original poster

Heob14 · 08/06/2022 03:44

@rea2022x thanks.
It’s only been 4m but it felt so right (as I guess they all do!) but I have gut instincts that aren’t usually wrong.
We get on so well but then something minor will happen and we fall out.
Im now being made to feel like something I can’t do is my fault and that I’m not making him a priority and that’s not a nice feeling

OP posts:

youlightupmyday · 08/06/2022 03:45

The sadness around a failing relationship is awful. Made worse by the fact that you cannot see into the future. However, most things really do turn out OK in the end and life goes on. New people come into our lives all the time.

I didn't meet my most truly compatible person until I was 47.

youlightupmyday · 08/06/2022 03:47

Oh dear, well imagine a lifetime of being made to feel that it is your fault...

CharliesMum28 · 08/06/2022 04:27

My partner has just ended things with me, we had been together 18 months and he has lived with me for 12 months. He says its nothing i have done and he doesnt know why he feels this way. He says he needs space and that he loves me but does not want me to get my hopes up that he will come back. I thought we had a future together and this was the best relationship i have ever had. My heart is racing, i havent eaten in 3 days, i am not sleeping and i am struggling at work. He has also asked me to tell my son (7) that he is working away and thats why he isnt here. Im so confused i am absolutely in love with him and i want to be with him.

youlightupmyday · 08/06/2022 05:31

CharliesMum28 · 08/06/2022 04:27

My partner has just ended things with me, we had been together 18 months and he has lived with me for 12 months. He says its nothing i have done and he doesnt know why he feels this way. He says he needs space and that he loves me but does not want me to get my hopes up that he will come back. I thought we had a future together and this was the best relationship i have ever had. My heart is racing, i havent eaten in 3 days, i am not sleeping and i am struggling at work. He has also asked me to tell my son (7) that he is working away and thats why he isnt here. Im so confused i am absolutely in love with him and i want to be with him.

No. Do not do his dirty work for him or leave yourself as an option.

Tell him it is 100% over, then get his stuff out and block him. The rest of your life starts today and you cannot start it with him half in/ out. He's a coward. You will start to feel much better in a few months so you need to get that process started now.

And please, next time don't move someone in six months after meeting when you have kids. It makes the mess so much worse. Though I am very sorry you are going through this. Hugs and some resilience coming your way x

Newestname002 · 08/06/2022 05:59

@CharliesMum28

He has also asked me to tell my son (7) that he is working away and thats why he isnt here. Im so confused i am absolutely in love with him and i want to be with him.

I wouldn't lie to your child. There are other things you could say instead - a gentle version of the truth.

@Heob14

Im now being made to feel like something I can’t do is my fault and that I’m not making him a priority and that’s not a nice feeling

My goodness he's showing his true colours early... If he's treating you like this already, after such a short time, perhaps it's better for you to walk away. Sorry, OP. 🌹

Almostthere1 · 08/06/2022 06:22

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s heartbreaking seeing the same story unravel, especially when your hopes were high.
The beginnings of a relationship can be deceiving and people show their true selves a few good months in. Please don’t blame yourself. He just turned out to not to be the right person. Also - what you see now is probably the authentic version of him, not how he presented himself in the beginning.
Choose yourself x

ohmygloshes · 08/06/2022 06:29

If you are recognising red flags at 4m then this is brilliant, well done, this is the right time. Heart breaking as it is now, it is far better than even later when you are more entangled and things are far more complicated. It sounds like you are moving on well from your last relationship and not going the same way at all. Onwards and upwards for you.

bloodyunicorns · 08/06/2022 06:37

Four months!! You barely even know him. Relationships should not be difficult at this stage. End things and move on.

UserError012345 · 08/06/2022 06:55

My partner has just ended things with me, we had been together 18 months and he has lived with me for 12 months.

I'm sorry to say @CharliesMum28 but you moved too quick. Moving in with someone after 6 months is way way too soon when you have kids. The impact of this decision also now affects your son.

OP, 4 months also is too soon to be bickering with someone you don't really know. If you're getting flags, listen to them.

Original poster

Heob14 · 08/06/2022 08:48

Thanks all. As I said it’s just so deflating.
There have been quite a few little niggles of which we get past but then something else happens..I think it’s a clash of personalities and it’s wearing. Sad though as he’s also very nice to be with but he’s started making me feel like I’m in the wrong and that changes things when you know that’s not right.

OP posts: