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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling violated

33 replies

MIlesdavis · 07/06/2022 19:21

My husband has diabetes. This weekend he kept attempting to have sex without Viagra. He says he “doesn’t want a pill to control him,” but he is impotent because of the diabetes (the doctor said this to us). We haven’t had sex successfully without Viagra for 5-6 years, but lately he’s insisting to have sex without it. This is really difficult because he keeps trying and then loses his erection. He keeps telling me to “make me hard” but I do everything I can and it doesn’t happen. I don’t think it’s me…it’s just the reality of his diabetes. He did complete this weekend, but only because he held his penis in his hand whilst drumming into me. The combination of a few of his fingers and his limp penis together ramming inside me was pretty painful for me. It felt it went on forever. I desperately don’t want to do this again. I feel so violated, but if I tell him so I’m afraid of his anger.

OP posts:
JanglyBeads · 09/06/2022 20:13

Do you work OP? What are the children's relationships like with their dad?

Zpoa · 09/06/2022 20:50

This is so upsetting to read and I've no idea how it has been feeling to actually be living with this abusive man.

OP you need to leave him.

Itstimetoquit · 09/06/2022 21:07

Your life shouldn't be like this,you are being abused,please don't allow this to carry on,talk to friends/family,the police ideally x

MouseRoar · 09/06/2022 21:16

That's not right, what he's done to you. You deserve so much better than that. I feel so sad for you, and angry as well. You have sacrificed so much.
It is time to take care of yourself now.

MouseRoar · 09/06/2022 21:18

Do you have an income? Access to legal advice. Contacting women's aid is good advice. Your life can be different. And that doesn't have to be at your children's expense.

Itstimetoquit · 13/06/2022 20:15

How are you op x

Topgub · 13/06/2022 20:23

Please make steps to leave op.

PearPickingPorky · 13/06/2022 20:55

What did he/would he say when/if you told him how painful it was for him to ram his fingers into you like that?

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