My husband has diabetes. This weekend he kept attempting to have sex without Viagra. He says he “doesn’t want a pill to control him,” but he is impotent because of the diabetes (the doctor said this to us). We haven’t had sex successfully without Viagra for 5-6 years, but lately he’s insisting to have sex without it. This is really difficult because he keeps trying and then loses his erection. He keeps telling me to “make me hard” but I do everything I can and it doesn’t happen. I don’t think it’s me…it’s just the reality of his diabetes. He did complete this weekend, but only because he held his penis in his hand whilst drumming into me. The combination of a few of his fingers and his limp penis together ramming inside me was pretty painful for me. It felt it went on forever. I desperately don’t want to do this again. I feel so violated, but if I tell him so I’m afraid of his anger.