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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend has completely withdrawn

2 replies

rbo32 · 07/06/2022 10:33

My friend, let's called her Emma, has completely withdrawn from me in the last 2 years.
We go back to childhood (now in mid 30s). Over the years (since teens), Emma has suffered with depression on and off, but has always refused to see a GP or have any sort of therapy. She's also very strongly anti-medication. Won't even take so much as a headache pill.
Emma has a history of self-diagnosing, she's 35 years old and hasn't worked since graduating more than 10 years ago.
Lives at home with aging parents. Doesn't have children or a partner.
When it comes to self-diagnosing, she used to spend days on end in her bedroom on internet forums about mental illness. Over the years she's announced to our friendship group that she has depression, szchizophrenia, bi polar, amongst others. No medical imput at any time.
Emma has completely withdrawn from us all over last 2 years. We send her birthday cards and Christmas cards but she never responds. Hasn't been on Whatsapp or social media in well over a year.
We know she's still alive and at home because we see her brothers from time to time and always ask after her. The brothers just said well she must have her reasons for not being in touch... They don't seem particularly forthcoming with details of what's going on with her.
In the last 2 years Emma has missed so many occasions that we'd have loved her to be part of... A couple of weddings, new babies, engagements and house moves. No response, nothing. Like she just doesn't care any more.
As much as we love her and want her to get better, thats' never gonna happen whilst she's locked away in her bedroom, doing nothing with her time, wallowing and making no attempt to get medical or therapeutic help. Also she used to complain about having no money to come out with the rest of us, we all work. If you've never worked and show no interested in actually getting a job, then what does she expect?
We're just frustrated now, how long should we keep trying to reach out to Emma?

OP posts:
phoebeew · 07/06/2022 13:30

Doesn't sound like she wants to be in touch imo. I once had a friend who faded away under similar circumstances..........Bottom line is if she doesn't want help then she won't change.

something2say · 07/06/2022 14:15

Let it go. Either she isn't interested anymore, or she is unwell and getting worse. If she won't respond, what else can you do? I am sorry. Life has many twists and turns x

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