Sister mentioned they may emigrate-feel sad

[Minimalme]

It was just a passing comment at the end of a nice day our with our kids.

She said her dh had always wanted to emigrate to NZ and she was considering it.

It really caught me out - I don't know if she was 'introducing' the idea to me or if it's just a vague notion.

We both cut contact with our parent last year and lost the support of our other two siblings and Auntie in the process.

We had a dreadful, abusive childhood and I just assumed we would always stick together.

If she emigrated then realistically, we could not support each other in the way we do now.

It is her and her family's life and she must put them first. They must do it if they decide it's what they want.

I don't know if I've got the resilience to be as involved as I am in her life now, knowing that she may be gone in a year or two?

Tips for getting through please.

Ask her how serious she is because it's bothering you! Talk!

When she first mentioned it I was a bit shocked but I have now asked her via text whether she was thinking about applying for visa's.

She said it was a short conversation with her dh and quite recent.

I feel a bit hurt that she listed her career and he eldest dc age (in case she didn't chose to go with them) as being the big things standing in their way.

I am utterly pathetic I know but I just feel as though I value our relationship more than her whereas before I felt we were equals.

You're not pathetic, I also have a sibling who doesn't seem to value our relationship when it means the world to me and it hurts like hell.

I'm sorry, op, I hope they stay

Both my siblings live abroad. It was harder in the days of snail mail, but with the Internet it feels so much easier now.

Similar upbringing to yourself here.

My siblings live abroad. One of them I miss terribly. They’re probably away ten years now and I still have pangs where I’m out somewhere or think of something that would make us both laugh and I get sad. Your sister does have her own separate life though, at the end of the day she and her husband have to decide what’s best for their family. It’s hard I know, I too thought we were closer.