Why do men do this?

[KittyKaboodle22]

Does anyone else’s male partner ignore them when they’re quite blatantly annoyed/upset?

My partner (we don’t live together any more, as will become clear) has a job that, yes, is very stressful and he works from home. We used to live together but don’t any more due to personality clashes.

Now, when he’s working he becomes a whole different person. I stopped with him last night/all day today, and saw his work stress. So, he’s banging and crashing about, very obviously peed off. As usual I always ask “are you OK? What’s wrong?” you know, leaving an opening for him to vent or do whatever. He doesn’t even acknowledge me, just carries on banging about, gets ready and with a very curt “bye!” leaves to go out with his mates.

When he comes back, it’s always like nothing’s happened.

Does anyone else have this in their relationships and find it so draining and rude?

Now, because I’m a big believer in communication, I always open up the channels for him to talk and me to listen.

Nope, nothing!

Why do they do this?!

I don't because if my partner did that to me they would be an ex partner pretty quick :/ are you honestly saying you went over to stay at his, and he got in a mood and just left you in his house to go see his mates?

Yeah just don't put up with it, I mean you don't live together so if moody starts just say, ok I tried I'm going home and walk out. Regardless if any pleading comes after do this a few times and it might, might, stop.

They are like it, the ones who are, because they have a captive audience in you to assert their power of moods.

It's no fun being in a strop with no one around to see it and to make feel as though they have to jump through pointless hoops that will get them no where.

Go home next time.

Why do they do this?!

Wrong question my dear.

What you need to be asking is "Why would I put up with this for another minute?"

I don't think most men do do this. Like pp I can't answer why, and it wouldn't help if I could. But I wouldn't stick around to be treated like that.

It's not something that can be excused via the 'it's what men do' mechanism, and the question you should be asking is why are you going down that route.

If your partner treats you in a way you don't like, talk to them and make sure they either change, or you leave them. Don't be looking for why they behave that way: it's because that's who they are.

Moving out was the first step in disengaging from the relationship I think.

Yep. I'd have gone home, picked up a ready meal or takeaway - and watched something on Netflix, Prime etc. before starfishing in my own bed. 🌹

Well done. Now ditch the rude fucker.

More to the point, why are you still with him? Ditch him for good!

I stopped at "when he comes back". When he comes back he should find that he is unable to enter the building again. Why the hell are you letting him in?

"We used to live together but don’t any more due to personality clashes"

Then why are you with him at all?

He is trying to solve his own problems without affecting anyone else (much) Some people, I am one, need to think bad stuff through thoroughly and decide on the best course of action. He will be angry at such times but you are not the target.
Run out of patience then find another person but if you care, you will find a way to help.
So some effort required but set yourself a limit - life is full of other people - best to leave whilst you can rejuvenate your life if he is 'unaware' and remains so.