What would you do

[Nederdown]

Would like to ask if you would say anything or keep quiet about what I've recently found.

When Covid first hit, I noticed my husband had a few friendly/flirty messages from a female acquaintance he had known years prior. I was confused because I didn't know they even spoke. The tone of the messages implied they were in regular communication. Friendly, mildly flirty maybe, but no sex/love talk. I never got to the bottom of it. The messages stopped after I asked him about them. He told me the woman was lonely and liked to talk now and again.

Recently I found that the messages were not from the woman named as the contact, but instead from a Polish sex worker with whom my husband had become friendly with. I don't know how he met her. I've viewed her sex worker profiles (she has two) and in one of them she specialises in massage with what they call 'happy ending'.

AFAIK he no longer communicates with her. Our marriage has been good and I don't think he would want to risk that. I have not made him aware of my discoveries. Would you say anything?

I'd tell him what you've discovered and ask him why he lied. Why /how did he know a prostitute? Has he had sex with her? I'd want to know.

I don't see any way he would be friendly with a sex worker other than if he had sought her services ?

Have you spoken to him about it ? But the fact he lied about who she was initially is very obvious that he has something to hide.

Yes I would 1000% say something. He likely has cheated on you, with sex worker(s). Are you okay with that?

I think you're being very naive to say you don't know how he knows her...

You can try talking to him about it, but he may lie but there is no way I wouldn't be saying something.

I couldn’t not say something! Although how do you know this - are you snooping on his phone?

Could he have her contact name as something boring instead, something that you wouldn’t be bothered about.

And think about getting an STI check if you think he might have done something with her.

If you can continue to be in a marriage where it's pretty obvious your H has been sleeping with a sex worker.....and is likely to again at some point in the future (either her or another), then by all means don't say anything

Personally my H's bags would already be packed

Prostitutes are also people. They have friend as everyone else.

I hadn't snooped on his phone prior but because he acted unusually when her message came through, I snooped later so that's how I read the original messages.
There was nothing more to be found.
It was through him changing his phone that I discovered the truth of the contact (because there were backups, and there was a trail).
It's not certain he met her through using her services as there are several EE groups in our area. Not common knowledge but the men operate sex work rings (they're known as 'stables') amongst other things. He's on casual speaking terms with some of them, although I've told him before to be wary of speaking to them.

OP what are EE groups ?

So he associates/socialises/interacts with men that operate sex rings exploiting women? I'd end it for this alone regardless off whether he was talking to/sleeping with a sex worker

If it's the type of sex worker that is being taken advantage of or abused by these men I'd actually probably have sympathy for her and be disgusted at my partner