Should I tell OW?

[Mumnetter111]

I have been receiving a few inappropriate messages from a man over SM. I know of him through a friend of a friend but I don’t think he knows who I am or that I live in the area. I’ve found his wife’s SM but I’m unsure wether to tell her and show her proof (when I found out he was married I took pictures of the messages for evidence.) I really hate drama or to cause problems and I guess I’m just a bit afraid that the women could turn out to be not very nice and get annoyed at me for trying to interfere with the relationship.

I would just block

Tbh I’d probably just tell him to fuck off and block him and forget about it. Not your circus and all that. If he does manage to contact you a different way and carries on pestering you, then I’d consider it

I know I personally would prefer to be told , if my husband was trying it on with other women.

However, some women can be weird, and blame you, and not their husband. I think I read a story of someone saying how the wife started harassing her afterwards. Or it may cause him to start harassing you.. who knows how people will react.

Your call!

@RhiRhi1996 this is exactly my thought process. I would definitely want to know if DH had been calling other women beautiful multiple times on SM but also worried the wife won’t believe me and would start harassing me. It definitely makes it more complicated that a friend of a friend knows her and wouldn’t want to get a bad reputation for trying to cause problems.

If this were me I would block him. Are you posting photos of yourself for people to comment on?

@Bunty55 I have a few photos of myself on my account, mainly just photography/pictures of the beach. Why?

I would just block him. Nothing has actually happened between you and it might backfire on you if you say something.

Is he just commenting on the photos?

@Bunty55 no he’s messaging me directly saying things like “your eyes are beautiful” “you look stunning” and asking me about where I’m from and if I’m single.

Block him. He probably messages lots of women like this

Forgot to mention in my OP. He is now very blocked and after I found out he was married I didn’t continue the conversation. Was just wondering wether to tell the wife or to just leave it and avoid her.

And start a shit storm ? Why ?

Exactly why bother just move on , ime women aren’t going to leave their husband over some messages and he will likely talk his way out of it so why are you really wanting to tell her?

If you've blocked him already, what are you looking for? It sounds like you want to create drama. Why are you even giving this another thought?

Hi OP, weird that you're bring told off when so often ppl here say that they would want to know if they were being cheated on. I see where you are coming from.

But this guy seems to be so obvious in his attempts to get laid that it seems likely that his wife already knows and turns a blind eye. Which makes her more likely to shoot the messenger. I'd probably leave it too.

I think there's a song lyric that goes along the lines of "I think your man has got lost in my DM's".

What a POS this man is.I'd screenshot and sent to his wife.I'd want to know if it was me.

You should tell his wife. I know as the wife of a cheating husband , i wouldve lovedddd it if that other woman had reached out to me instead of giving in to his advances.

@Aquamarine1029 I don’t think that’s very fair. If I wanted to cause drama I would have immediately messaged her and wouldn’t have bothered blocking her husband. The reason Im giving it a second thought is because I’m not sure what the moral thing to do is. If my husband cheated I would like to know but that’s why I’ve come on MN to get other peoples opinions and other points of view. And I’m thinking thoroughly about all my replies and trying to do the right thing. If it was a random person on the internet I think the situation would be clearer but it’s the fact it’s a friend of a friend and that there’s a possibility of bumping into her in the future that is making this difficult for me.

I would tell her, it would hurt me to think of a woman wasting precious years of her life with a man who is actively trying to betray her. If you are worried about the fallout then I'd make an anonymous account, black out your details on the messages and send them to her that way.

I've stuck my nose in something like this. It's a friend of mine who's got a lot of problems and I saw extremely inappropriate messages between her and a married guy. Pictures and videos. I posted here and was told to get a life or a hobby because I very briefly considered pretending to be the wife and messaging my friend. Thanks to advice here I didn't. But I did tell another friend. This friend has found the guy and his wife on Facebook. The guy's wife who's disabled has written all about how much she loves him yada yada. The friend I told is on a group where the guy is on and also the friend who's been messaging him. She's contacted the guy direct saying he's been rumbled. Called him a dirty devil and to stop before he ruins his marriage.