Adult sites

[Sunshine208]

hi all, just looking for some guidance on this matter as I feel slightly confused at the fact I don’t know how I should be feeling… Long story short (ive seen this via looking though my partner search history for a holiday site we had been looking at a few weeks prior) that every time I’m at work it looks as if he’s been spending most of his time watching porn and looking at only fans accounts as there was 40+! Search’s in the 7 hours I was at work looking a bit further I can see this is a continuous thing whenever I’m working. I feel angry and can’t understand why he’s doing it when we have a good sex life and relationship together , the thought this makes me feel sick and upset when I have to go to work
I’m worried that I am just being overly sensitive and overeating that I’ve been telling myself it’s normal and at least it’s just adult sites and he’s not actually cheating. How would you feel about this? Should men/women be doing this while they are in a relationship?

How you feel about adult sites is completely up to you. Some people are fine with porn others are not. Whether it's okay in the relationship is up to you two and what you define as boundaries. Have you ever told him you don't like porn/adult sites in a relationship?

if it is only fans he is likely paying to view their stuff and will be subscribed to one or multiple womens only fans. These can range from 7 dollars a month upwards .

My own preferences regarding porn in a relationship is I don't mind it, but I wouldn't like to date someone who consumed a lot of it personally. It makes me feel Insecure if I felt they needed it or preferred it. But having a play with yourself when your partner isn't around is okay to me . I occasionally watch porn too. But not habitually.

Personally I wouldn't like it if he was subscribed to women's of and paying money to view it. There is so much free porn, It would make me feel Insecure thinking how much he liked these women than he pays to view their content.

If it makes you uncomfortable and it feels like cheating to you - tell him. But personally I think this is conversations you should have early on in the relationship. As if it is a deal breaker to you, you've wasted all this Time?

But him watching porn isn't necessarily a reflection on you/your sex life. Most men watch porn, even when they are happy with their sex life. They crave variety and are very visual.

It’s definitely unhealthy that he spends so much time on adult sites. Personally, I don’t mind my partner looking at adult sites (I’m probably in the minority with that). It would become a problem if it were to affect our sex life or if he was obsessed/treating me poorly/spending too long on them.

Despite that for some reason, I do have an issue with only fans and would feel betrayed. I think it’s because it’s local girls on there, I’m not actually sure why I draw the line at that and not porn! Do you know whether he is paying a subscription? I’d absolutely have to say something to him if he was!

Sorry you’re feeling rubbish about it. If it was my partner I wouldn’t feel cheated on by him watching porn but I would definitely be upset about the only fans

As already mentioned, you have to decide yourself how you feel about porn and it being viewed by a partner in a relationship. Personally I won't tolerate it and have a big issue with it's existence in general, for others they're not bothered by it.

The only fans stuff....is kinda gross to be honest if he is paying for it. I'd be plain angry if my partner was wasting money on that. I would certainly call him out on it all. If he is watching that much on a regular basis I would also question if he has a porn addiction...if so, that needs addressing as any other addiction should be. There is support and advice available you just have to seek it out.