Is it worth taking a break?

[Climbingthelaundrymountain]

Dh and I have been married 9 years, together for 14. We have 3 children. There is nothing left between us. A few years ago he told me he wasn't sure if he loved me anymore. He was extremely depressed and did seek help, got counselling, meds etc and things improved. Over the last year I have been closely observing and seeing what would happen if I did or didn't do certain things. If I don't hug/kiss him he will never hug or kiss me. There is no sex. I've tried initiating it. He rarely speaks to me and is very angry at me a lot. We have issues with money and one child with severe Sen and we constantly disagree over how to parent them. Do you think it's worth him moving out and is having a break for a while to see if that makes us realises we miss each other? He is away a lot for work, it will be of no consequence to any of us if he is not here to be honest. I just don't know what to do or what to say to the children.

Sounds like he doesn't want to be there or with you but doesn't have the balls to say it. I would propose a temporary break up were he moves out and gets his sh-t together. It will give you guys a breather and help to see things from a more objective lens. Just tell the kids "mom and dad are giving themselves a break because daddy is busy with work". Don't go into too much detail with them as you don't know how this experiment will pan out.

How long are you planning on having a break for? I broke up with my ex and I absolutely hated him for a long period of time. It is only now almost a year later could I appreciate anything about him. I was left holding the baby and he was free all the time to do whatever the fuck he liked. It 100% makes you feel even worse about them. I appreciate mine was a break up rather than a break but realistically he will be a free man to do what he wants, when he wants and with who and you'll have literally no say as you look out for your three children. Please don't think I'm being harsh obviously I don't know him but he doesn't seem invested in making it work from what you have said.

If I don't hug/kiss him he will never hug or kiss me. There is no sex. He rarely speaks to me and is very angry at me a lot.

Is there anything to save? It doesn't sound like it. You deserve better, and your Dc deserves to grow up in a happier house.

Thanks both. I'm not invested in making it work, I'm happy to call it a day to be honest. It's sad but sometimes it's for the best. I just want to make sure we've given it a shot. Every time I try to talk about it he gets angry, then pretends nothing was ever said.

I think he would be happier and prefer his life if he was free to do as he pleases and I don't really care. I'm on my own with the children most of the time anyway. His mum will still help out I'm sure because she's brilliant.