How to work on yourself?

[MsOllie]

This might be a really stupid question! I've had a lot of counselling previously and also CBT and I want to try and improve my reactions to stuff. I don't have much money to throw at it. For instance I've met someone lovely and I'm trying not to fuck it up

From Google it seems avoidant attachment and self sabotaging relationships fits. If I think someone is going to end a relationship, I'm very much "block them" and then cry over it. Get in there before they can

I grew up with a family that didn't ever hug, say I love you, no physical affection and a parent who would often just give me silent treatment for days for no reason so I'm always the person panicking I've done something wrong. Not just in relationships but work wise it affects me too, if my boss asks to speak to me I'm convinced he will tell me I'm being sacked

I think there are CBT apps that could be a nice top up to your counselling…

there are too many self-development books to mention on the market. Google exactly what you want & read reviews and you’ll find a good one

the best advice I could give you though (which I WISH I had done in the past) is to really take the relationship slowly. Don’t be tempted to spend too much time together. Let it build up slowly so you can psychologically catch up with the change in your life and heart

Probably should add the CBT was for panic attacks
Counselling because I was forced into a termination I didn't want, and also halfway through the counselling realised I had stopped being able to make any eye contact with anyone and hadn't noticed

I've just managed to do the sensible thing tonight and ask the guy if he/we are ok, rather than doing my panic block cry and run

💐

Daily Affirmations
Lots of self - care. So eating well, lots of water, exercise, yoga, meditation.

Making sure you have lots going on in your life so you are not just focusing on a relationship.

Using the CBT techniques in all aspects of your life so you get lots of practice.

Forgiving yourself if you get things wrong. It happens to us all.

Best wishes

I eat well, loads of water and exercise probably 4-6 times a week. Exercise is definitely a huge thing for me that helps
I might look and see if there are any relevant podcasts actually