No friends stigma

[Crocosmiania]

Posting for advice on something that's become an issue in my family when it didn't have to. I currently don't have any friends and haven't for some time (although have had good friends in the past). One of my in-laws decided to raise this a couple of years ago and it seems to have 'spread' as I've had other family members raise the issue. One said she wondered why I didn't have friends, then paused to ponder (I thought she was going to psycho-analyse me at that point!).

I feel like it's become my unwanted badge and at the same time I don't know why I've been singled out as other family members appear to have no friends either, although they are on FB whereas I'm not.

It's not like I've decided to not have friends, it just kind of happened. I have joined groups in the past and am currently starting a new hobby, but I don't want to have to 'collect' friends just because I'm starting to feel the pressure to produce the goods to those people to whom I appear to have become the woman who has no friends.

What, if anything, could I say in response to these people in my family to whom I've become the person with no friends, to relieve the pressure on me, or should I instead say nothing and try to ignore it?

I’d get your DH to have a sharp word w his parent, this sounds like a type of bullying.

I would just say you have plenty going on in your life thanks, and look amused.

Thanks, I hadn't thought of it as bullying, but can see it could be. Not a clue why it became an issue for the person who originally raised it.

Just say you have got friends if the topic comes up but yes it sounds like bullying

Next time you’re asked (by one of them who also has no friends) just say (surprised) “Oh!, probably the same reason as you, does it bother you?”.
Let them decide whether the “does it bother you” question means that they’re friendless or that you’re friendless.

Then just shrug as if it’s the biggest non-issue ever and change the subject.

Certainly sounds like bullying to me.

Do you like being around them?

If not, you have a great reason to see a lot less of them.

Tell your husband to manners on his family, sharpish.

It's not an 'issue' but they are trying to make you feel crap, it's absolutely none of their fucking business.
"Cor aren't you nosey? don't your friends mind you being as nosey as you are?" might shut them up, but it doe sound as if they're gloating over it so maybe a simple 'do fuck off dear' would be more appropriate.

It's a really odd thing for them to take an interest in. My MIL wouldn't have a clue who my friends are. Why would they be interested / think it's their business how many friends you have? Why do they think it's important how many friends you have?

This is, as pp have said, a form of bullying. There's no other explanation for it.

You do you. If you want more friends then do what you can to make that happen. If you're happy without friends, that's fine too. Their opinion and faux concern are irrelevant.