Ive name changed for this but I’ve been posting a while. Unpleasant break up with DH , me 51 him 57. We will be starting divorce proceedings soon. He is in marital home , I’m renting.
He took up with another woman pretty soon after we split , ( I left for someone else after years of emotional abuse, that hasn’t worked out -these things happen but its been hard). We had a brief and ill advised attempt at reconciliation but he’s now back with her, I’m fine with it -let him crack on.
One of the reasons we split was his MH exacerbated I believe by his use of porn and an addiction of sorts that i never really got to the bottom of as he massively minimised it and gaslighted me -but I hated it.
Anyway whilst I was still there he made a big thing of getting rid of all his ‘material’, but for me the damage had been done.
I’m still in and out of the house when i need to be , I’m still financially maintaining it plus my own rent, which will be coming to an end soon when its sold -plus we have a dog who I still want to see and take out.No DC at home as grown up.
I noticed he had put away a number of photos in frames of me with DC/wedding pictures/ family snaps etc. I get that , his girlfriend prob doesn’t want to see my face all round the house.
I went looking for the pictures as I thought I’d take the ones of me with DC and my sisters to my rented flat. In doing so i came across a pile of porn DVDs. One of them was a woman dressed in school uniform but she was no schoolgirl, I’m sure i don’t need to draw you a picture.
AIBU to still be upset and frankly creeped out that a man in his 50’s , who has already has issues to the extent I have described, gets off on this type of stuff. Its actually make me feel sick and upset , as its brought back all the trauma that went on before I left? I don’t think I’m a prude but school uniform , really?????