How does this really look?

[Lookonbright]

My daughter is in a relationship with a chap she has met at university they are both 22, he is a exchange student. They have been seeing each other for approx 8 months. He says he loves her and they are talking about a long distance relationship until they both end their studies. She loves him but a couple of months ago when he was on a night out without my daughter and whilst drunk he got chatting to another girl. They text each other regularly and he has told my daughter this girl is now a close friend. My daughter has this gut feeling that something is a bit suspicious about this friendship as her boyfriend always messages this girl first, they have met once and even visited her flat. He says there is nothing romantic going on, yet he holds this girl in such regard even though my daughter has said to him her concerns, he just calls her jealous. He has other close female friends which my daughter has no issues with.

I don’t want to get involved but because my daughter has feelings it’s hard to know what to advise.

Teach your daughter to trust her gut. And the old saying-if someone tells you who they are then believe them. Whatever is occurring about this other woman: at best he is not considering your daughters feelings on this or validating them. At worst he is having an emotional affair. At only 8th the in it still should be easier then this-especially if what is to come is an LDR. I’d be done.

8 months in

Does he have plans, and the right, to stay in the U.K. after he finishes his degree?

Turn it around, If it was your daughter who had a male friend and her boyfriend was trying to control who she can and can't be friends with after a few months what would you think?
But it's up to her, if she doesn't trust him then maybe she should end it, but she shouldn't dictate who he can and can't be friends with.

I totally agree the whole dictating who he can be friends with thing, I have said that to her but it’s his reluctance to take her feelings into consideration that concerns me. She is very free thinking.

My daughter has no issue with the girl, she can be any random, he has loads of new and old female friends. This particular friendship does not sit comfortable with her, gut feeling and all that.

I think she is coming to the realisation if he is prepared not to think about her feelings over this very short friendship then she has her answer of his true feelings for her.

yes there is no issues with him and being here, born here but moved abroad when he was very young.

Gut instinct. But also she's not feeling happy, and in a relationship you deserve to be.

He has now told her a few other details about this friendship she now feels justified in having her suspicions. He was trying to twist it on her by calling her controlling, jealous and making her feel bad about herself. She is ending this and it’s funny how her intuition was right x