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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do men take it when you reject them?

3 replies

raincheckrosemary · 02/06/2022 20:27

I’d quite like to hear if they take it well or if you have a bad experience - for some reason, the people pleaser in me hates doing it and it’s a weird phobia of mine

OP posts:
TedMullins · 02/06/2022 20:29

Men aren’t a homogenous being so some will be arseholes about it, some will say okay thanks for being honest. There are a lot of nasty sexist twats out there who feel entitled to a woman, but really, of all the people you worry about offending, they shouldn’t be on the list. It’s a them problem, not a you problem.

It sounds like working on your people pleasing tendencies would be more useful to you than wasting headspace worrying what men think. You need to think about YOU and what you want, and why you feel this need within you to people please. Forget about other people for a minute and get to the bottom of it within yourself - counselling would probably help.

raincheckrosemary · 02/06/2022 20:38

TedMullins · 02/06/2022 20:29

Men aren’t a homogenous being so some will be arseholes about it, some will say okay thanks for being honest. There are a lot of nasty sexist twats out there who feel entitled to a woman, but really, of all the people you worry about offending, they shouldn’t be on the list. It’s a them problem, not a you problem.

It sounds like working on your people pleasing tendencies would be more useful to you than wasting headspace worrying what men think. You need to think about YOU and what you want, and why you feel this need within you to people please. Forget about other people for a minute and get to the bottom of it within yourself - counselling would probably help.

The reason I was asking is because my brain goes to worst case scenarios when I do reject a guy - and I know it’s super irrational, but the scenarios I come up with it aren’t realistic and it helps to know that sometimes rejecting someone turns out completely fine. You’re right though!

OP posts:
GentlemanJay · 02/06/2022 20:39

I just say thank you. Then delete. Then move on. Rejection is part and parcel of online dating.

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