Wedding Anniversary today. Feeling blue

[Mousemummy]

I posted on here 8 months ago when I made the decision to leave my marriage which had become toxic and traumatic over the past few years.

it's been 8 months and today would have been our 11 year wedding anniversary ( we are still in process of divorce). It's been a stressful few momths selling my house which is also his and he will profit half from the sale but has not helped at all.

i don't know why, but today I feel so sad and upset 😢 I know annivesaries will always be hard but I remember how happy we were when we got married, the promises we made to each other which I feel he went back on as our relationship went on. I feel so hopeless about ever finding happiness again, when something that seemed so good can get so messed up over the years.

he hated my comitment to my career and resented me so much towards the end to the point of being bullying and emotionally controlling. I know today should be me feeling glad I am free from that but its still making me feel awful about myself and what has happened. Does anyone have some words of wisdom who has been through this? I need to hear the things I already know from someone else right now to get through this day

No words of wisdom, but I felt exactly the same. Just such huge sadness that all the potential we'd had to be happy had gone. Honestly, divorce is a grieving process and all 'special days' - birthdays, christmas, anniversarys seem to be especially difficult. But I'm hoping in time I'll be able to look back with sone fondness on those days and not just with pure sadness.

Thanks. It’s good to know I’m not alone in feeling like this. I would also like to be able to look back in the future and remember the goos times also. I guess I just need to go through it and allow it to pass. Just so much resentment and pain when I look back at the moment it’s hard to contemplate how it all came to such a horrible end

Yup, but I think taking time to process it and come to terms with it will mean we can move forwards from it. I had a large g and t, a Diazapam and an early night on our anniversary!

I've been there too.

Recognise it for what it is...grief. You're mourning the loss of what you had on your wedding day.

Time really is the very best healer. Make sure you do something lovely for yourself today.

Fwiw, I've just got back from a wonderful few days away with my new man. I can't remember having such a giggle or so much fun, or sex, with the ex. Your future is looking good too, I'm sure. You just can't see it yet.

Know that today is yet another day closer to the wonderful new life you're free to build when your divorce is all behind you.