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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Clare's law response from the police

50 replies

namechangefailure · 31/05/2022 18:54

I used the police live chat earlier to ask how I would go about making a disclosure as I have found out that a partner that I had recently broken up with had served a prison sentence for stalking and harassing an ex girlfriend. I think there response was poor. The conversation went like this, hello could you please tell me how I can request a disclosure under Clare's law? They then asked me if I live with this person and if I am in immediate danger, I said no and no, they then asked me if I have any children, I said no, they then asked why I want a check doing on this person and I informed them that somebody had disclosed to me that an ex partner had served a prison sentence for stalking and harassing an ex girlfriend and they responded by saying 'ok we wouldn't be able to disclose that information to you as as you do not have any contact with him. Wtf? They never even gave me chance to explain that i have been receiving messages and last night I had 13 missed calls and he was outside my house. Is there any wonder women do not report stuff, I am honestly shocked by this experience, i thought things like this were supposed to be taken seriously now?

OP posts:

AgentJohnson · 31/05/2022 22:00

I’m also confused by your approach. This man is actively stalking you, therefore you know what you are dealing with.

Report him for harassment and the Police will join the dots because of his previous.

You went on a fishing expedition, when you should have just reported him.

Report him!!!!

Electriq · 31/05/2022 22:04

Report the calls and loitering then request again

Reallyreallyborednow · 31/05/2022 22:11

Report the calls and loitering then request again

there’s no point requesting again.

the request is to find out if this man is a danger to her. He is harrassing her, so he clearly is a danger. The police won’t do a claire’s law request because all it will reveal is that he’s a danger.

disclosures won’t detail the specifics of crimes anyway. The police will tell someone only what they need to know- for example he has a history of domestic abuse, and help her to keep herself safe

LuxuryFox · 31/05/2022 22:23

I think people are giving OP a bit of a hard time, she’s feeling nervous.

Sometimes with the police - as with any organisation - it can depend on who you speak to. Not everyone is helpful. If I were you OP I would ring again and explain more fully.

BiscoffSundae · 31/05/2022 22:32

I thought Claire’s law was for people you are in a relationship with? I would love to do one on my ex as some things he told me during the relationship don’t add up but he is an ex and we are no longer together so I haven’t, if he is an ex does it matter what he has done previously just report what he is doing now?! It does state with Claire’s law that they don’t HAVE to disclose things and will only do it if they feel it’s necessary I guess as you are not in a relationship anymore they’ve decided it isn’t important what he’s done in the past.

mindutopia · 01/06/2022 00:07

Definitely report him for the harassment. Also you do have contact with him, because he is contacting you and showing up at your house.

That said, I do think the police can be a bit rubbish with these sorts of things. I put in a Sarah’s Law request several years ago as was told by a family member that step-FIL had a history of child sexual offences. Police refused to disclose any information as apparently if someone told us they knew he had been convicted and served prison time, he needed to cut contact (obviously we had). But despite him having years of contact with our dc, disclosing any further information would be a ‘violation of his privacy rights’ 🤔 The very ‘helpful’ safeguarding officer I spoke with though did let me know that though they wouldn’t disclose anything on him, if we did allow contact in the future and our dc were abused, SS would perceive that we had not done enough to keep our dc safe and that might have ‘serious consequences.’

Of course, we cut any contact with that side of the family as soon as this information came to light, and have been NC for years now. But it boggles the mind that abuser’s rights trump everything else within these schemes.

Reallyreallyborednow · 01/06/2022 06:20

Police refused to disclose any information as apparently if someone told us they knew he had been convicted and served prison time, he needed to cut contact (obviously we had)

you knew he was a risk and cut contact. A disclosure would have been “he’s a risk, cut contact”. The police confirmed you had taken the right action.

sarahs/claire’s law aren’t so someone can get the criminal history or details of crimes on a person. They are so you can keep yourself/your children safe. If you already know the risk and have taken measures, a disclosure is unnecessary.

if I got a new boyfriend and a sarah’s law request showed he was a risk to my kids, that’s what the police would disclose. They would tell me what I need to do to protect them. Not give me a list of his crimes or allegations.

if I’ve already split with him and my kids no longer see him then they wouldn’t disclose as he isn’t a risk to them.

Snowneep · 01/06/2022 07:19

Claire’s law will not really help in this situation. Contact the police and report the messages, calls and loitering. Tell them you are scared by his behaviour and believe he has done these things to others before you and been convicted and they can check n their end.
Also make sure you tell a family member or friend and contact the National Stalking helpline either online or by phone so you have the correct support.

BemoreDerek · 01/06/2022 07:27

OP it might really help to speak to one of the stalking charities and get some support and advice on how to handle reporting this to the police, they will understand the position you're in and why you found it difficult. Paladin or The Suzy Lamplugh Trust are both very good

RodiganReed · 01/06/2022 07:30

Christ, I thought Mumsnet was meant to be compassionate towards women experiencing abuse 🤔

OP you're doing great, it was really brave of you to make contact with the police. Claire's Law probably isn't going to help you in these circumstances, but as PPs have said, you need to report the actual stalking and harassment that he is subjecting you to now.

We know that risk to intimate/ former intimate partners increases at the point of separation and if he has a prior conviction for this then most police forces would consider this to heighten the risk of serious harm further. Please go in and speak to someone, take a friend with you and perhaps contact Women's Aid or the National Stalking Helpline for support.

Reallyreallyborednow · 01/06/2022 12:49

Christ, I thought Mumsnet was meant to be compassionate towards women experiencing abuse 🤔

i haven’t seen any lack of compassion. Just correctly pointing out the police were right- a claire’s law request in these circumstances won’t get her anywhere. And encouraging her to report the stalking and harrassment.

PetersRabbitt · 01/06/2022 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pinkbonbon · 01/06/2022 18:52

Well u did say 'an ex partner' so obviously they're going to assume youre just being nosey about about ex. If you said "the man I just broke up with who keeps harassing me..." that would have got you the response you needed.

myammus · 02/06/2022 01:45

This isn’t what Clare’s law is for so it’s hardly surprising they didn’t disclose anything to you

Original poster

namechangefailure · 02/06/2022 07:55

I only wanted to know how I went about starting the process for requesting a disclosure, I didn't expect them to disclose his history over a live chat on the website! It's not exactly the most appropriate service for taking about something sensitive and the phone line kept directing me to an automated service. I think I will just walk into a police station and ask to speak to somebody.

OP posts:

Reallyreallyborednow · 02/06/2022 09:18

I think I will just walk into a police station and ask to speak to somebody

police stations will take ages as there’s very few officers working from them. Usually just admin staff so while it may look busy there’ll be no one there to see you.

i’d try 101 or the webchat again and make a harrassment report. It’ll be quicker. Even if you go in person you won’t get a claire’s law disclosure because it’s not appropriate here.

CornishTiger · 02/06/2022 09:26

I’d also recommend you use 101 or online web chat to make a report.

SummerHouse · 02/06/2022 09:37

You can apply under Clare's Law about a partner or an ex partner. You do not have to live with them or be in a relationship with them.

I would start again. You answered 'no' to being in danger but the sad fact is you may be. So call 101, report the stalking / harassment. Then ask about a disclosure under Clare's Law. This is exactly what Clare's Law is for. You are at risk and additional information may help protect you. Give them another chance to get this right.

Maverickess · 02/06/2022 09:52

OP, a Claire's law disclosure is inappropriate in your situation, knowing he's been accused or convicted of stalking someone else isn't relevant because he's doing it to you right now and that's what matters and that's what needs to be addressed and stopped.
You knowing about his past won't change what is happening now, and that's what a Claire's law disclosure does, it tells you what the person you're asking about has done, along similar lines, in the past and that's all.
It would have been appropriate at the start of, or during your relationship if you'd received the information about his past then, but as you are no longer in a relationship with him (as in you are not welcoming his advances to you) getting a disclosure won't help you - he's exhibiting this behaviour towards you, now, and a knowing if he has or hasn't done this is the past won't change that.
If you make a report of his behaviour towards you to the police, they will investigate and part of that is looking at his previous record and any allegations against him for anything similar.

The Suzy Lamplugh trust were really good when I went through this with an ex, you can email them (Google the name and it will bring up the site) and please, please report his behaviour to the police. If another woman in the future were to be thinking of starting a relationship with him and does a Claire's law disclosure because she is unsure, then your report, alongside any others that may exist, could keep her safe.

Reallyreallyborednow · 02/06/2022 10:21

This is exactly what Clare's Law is for. You are at risk and additional information may help protect you. Give them another chance to get this right

no, it isn’t. Claire’s law is there so you can make changes to protect yourself.

o/p knows this person is a risk, and is taking measures to protect herself. They have broken up, and she is avoiding contact.

all a claire’s law disclosure will tell her is that he’s a risk and she should take steps to avoid contact.

so the police cannot make a disclosure. It’s not their choice, it’s the law. Disclosures are intended to make people aware that don’t know they are at risk so they can make informed decisions about a relationship.

Original poster

namechangefailure · 02/06/2022 12:50

He was messaging me yesterday begging me to have sex with him, I still can't get through to 101 but I'm going to go to the local police station later and see if they can help me. I blocked his number but he messaged me on another one and I feel like I need to save the messages now for evidence. I would like to know if I am at risk of sexual violence so I can take precautions to protect myself but I don't suppose they would tell me that.

OP posts:

GreyCarpet · 02/06/2022 13:14

I haven't done a Clare's Law request on anyone but I have done a Sarah's Law request and I would imagine the process and procedure is similar.

They will only make a disclosure, if there is one to be made, if the person is one of Donald Rumsfeld's Unknown Unknowns. Once you have your own evidence/experience of them, it's rendered unnecessary and pointless. Al it can do is tell you if a person has a history or poses a risk that you are unaware of in order for you to put safeguards against them in place. It's not there for you to gather a body of proof against them, as it were.

Once you have your own personal experience of them, that is what you need to report.

Someone reported harassment of me by a third party to the police about 3 years ago and 6 months after I last had contact from them. They took it very seriously.

He is harassing you so that is the route you need to take.

Take care.

Maverickess · 02/06/2022 13:32

namechangefailure · 02/06/2022 12:50

I reported online and got a phonecall back, if you Google your local force and look at the website there may be a way to report online there, you need to get this started, and I was advised to keep all messages but not reply to them in any shape or form.
Keep trying 101 and yes, keep the messages, I saved them to my phone and also took screenshots, saved them to Google photos and then printed them out so I had a hard copy.
And also visit your local station too if you can and it's safe to do so, the more angles you attack this from the better.
💐

Maverickess · 02/06/2022 13:33

And take the precautions anyway.

Reallyreallyborednow · 02/06/2022 13:33

I would like to know if I am at risk of sexual violence so I can take precautions to protect myself but I don't suppose they would tell me that

well he’s messaging you to beg you for sex. From unknown numbers so it’s clear you don’t want this contact. So yes, you are at risk. You don’t need a disclosure to tell you that.

rather than focussing on Claire’s law, which would only tell you what you already know, firstly report his actions, and yes keep the messages. Also make notes of times of calls and details from unknown numbers, as that can also be evidence.

then I would ask about getting an order to prevent him from contacting you. If he breaches that he will be in serious trouble.

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