Would you consider this emotional manipulation?

[Helpgivemesomeperspective]

Struggling with my relationship with my mother and brother.

He doesn’t work and lives with her. I work full time and don’t.

There are lots of examples but am giving one from this week. She asked me to change all the sheets on her bed. When I ask if she’s asked my brother she cried and said I was so resentful when she asked me to do anything and I obviously didn’t want to do it so not to bother.

I explained my resentment is towards my brother who lives at home rent free and doesn’t work.

She can’t see it and says I’ve ruining our relationship.

Things have got worse recently as I’ve started saying no instead of doing all that is asked of me without question. My mum
sees this as me not loving her and being very resentful where as I see it as wanting equality between me and golden boy (my brother).

I don’t know if I am being unreasonable and should just do these things without question or whether it’s acceptable to ask if she’s asked my brother first as he has all day everyday free!

Just spell out even with a penis your db can manage the chores.

Yes, you need to set clear boundaries.
Firstly, why can't your mum do the sheets?

If she can't due to physical incapacity then she asks the adult in the house who does not work and has the time.
It's that simple.

Why doesn't he work?

Why would you be changing her bedsheets when you don't live with her? Is she physically unable?

I'd flat out just say 'I'm brother is a lazy, spounging prat and if he is going to do sod all in life, the least he can do is look after the home amd help you with your needs. Don't shoot the messenger for telling you facts. It's isn't 1930. Men can do housework'.

Using a term like golden boy though...I susoect you think your mother is a narcissist? If this is the case, I'd stop doing anything for her and leave her and lazy basatrd brother to their own devices.

Why is she not able to change the bedsheets herself?
Why is brother doing fuck all?
I'd just keep telling her that she has to ask him as you work full time and don't live there. Brother lives there and is not working so therefore has plenty of time to do chores around the house he lives in!!

She struggles with arthritis and other health issues that make it hard for her to do things like change the sheets.

Are you the same poster whose mother asked for help getting the house ready for the cleaner, despite brother being at home?

Yes that’s me! Can you tell it’s really bugging me this week?! 🙈😂

When she cried and said your resentful did you agree? My mother used to tell me I was jealous I said no I resent adulting in a family full of adults while I'm still in high school....I mean she threatened to slap me for it but as an off the cuff remark I thought I did quite well at 15

Op did you find any of the responses on your last thread useful? I'm not sure what you are looking for here to be honest.

I suppose I am trying to get some clarity on the situation and figure out what my best steps should be.

Have you spoken to your brother? I would speak to him and tell him mums bedsheets need changing and laundry needs to be done.

If he moans about helping, then is a good time to point out what a lazy entitled twat he is.

I suppose I am trying to get some clarity on the situation and figure out what my best steps should be.

Do you live at home with mum and brother ?
If yes, next step is to move out.

OP doesn't live there and brother is too lazy to stop gaming to help out if I recall