Divorce after affair…when do you stop mourning your old life?

[Workingit3]

I’m 2 years post separation from my husband after he unexpectedly left and it turned out he was having multiple affairs. This totally shook my faith in people and even my trust in my own judgement as I never ever expected this.
ive settled into being a single mum to my children fairly well, they see their dad 2 days a week and they love going to his house. He has a new girlfriend who they have been introduced to.
while day too day I do feel pretty happy with my life and I enjoy my work, I’ve good friends and family and I love my time with my children. What I do struggle with though is the fact that my life will never be the way it was (a family unit with both childrens parents together). We have lovely days out and holidays with either just me and the kids or with extended family but I often feel triggered seeing other families together and feel so sad that this won’t be us. I know people will say I could meet someone which I know is true but it is still not the family that I thought.
my ex now has family days with his new girlfriend and the children, things he never even done when we were together. It’s strange because looking back I can see that the ‘family life’ that I’m speaking of wasn’t actually so great as he was fairly checked out.
i guess I would love to hear from people about how they moved past this feeling. I would love to get to a stage where I think I’m glad it happened as it’s allowed me to find happiness elsewhere but I can’t imagine ever feeling like that.
my ex has basically left me and started a brand new life with someone else, he’s like a different man, makes me feel that I was the issue sometimes

Concentrate on your life, stop looking at his. If you want to meet someone then do it.

I would try to stop caring, his not concerned about never having family parent days out again so why should you? (It’s not that big of a deal, kids just love to be out and doing thing with everyone and anyone)

Two years is still fairly recent when your world was turned upside down. It’s still quite raw, time will help.

Its ok to grieve the life you wanted and thought you would have, just don’t get stuck there x

Once you get past the stage of struggling to go out with kids alone, I think that it's pretty easy to get past the stage of regret. Live in the moment as much as possible and have fun with your kids. We took up some hobbies that were definitely off the cards with him around. Looking around you'll soon realise that there are plenty of lost looking 'coupled up' people. The grass is never greener. I also wondered how his new life seemed much better with someone else until they started splitting up and getting back together a few times.