Sad about loss of friendship

[goingpearshaped]

Hello fellow MNers,

I don't know why I am posting this year but I guess I am wondering if others have experienced similar. I think I have come to the point where one of my very best friendships has died a death. That point where you know there is no point trying as there is nothing much there anymore. No reply to my messages and I know friend has been on WhatsApp as changed status. Cancelled meet ups at last min. Friend has had stuff going on but so have I ( who doesn't?!). I just don't think I am the friend she wants me to be ( she told me how disappointed and upset she was me before Christmas about some stuff). No one's perfect, maybe I could have been better but it's a two way process. I just feel really sad about it all. I think things just need to fizzle out. Tricky as there are three of us ( not that we can meet as a three any longer as friend asked us not to anymore as upsetting).

I think it is also affecting my self esteem which is pretty crappy anyway. I am clearly not good enough.

Apologies for the ramble.
GPS

Here not year, sorry.

I know what you mean.
I don't honestly have an answer.
I feel really sad about myself too

@purpleme12 , thanks for replying and really sorry to hear that. I don't imagine that there are any magic words for either of us. Take care, you sound lovely and so thoughtful to me.

Really sorry to hear that @Overthewine . That sounds v difficult. Lots of drama and I would have struggled too. I hope it feels easier now.

Ah I’m sad to hear this OP. It’s happened to me many times and it really hurts, and I also internalise it and it makes me feel worthless/not good enough, so while I don’t have any words of advice, you’re not alone in this

( she told me how disappointed and upset she was me before Christmas about some stuff)

How did you react to this information?

Was it false? Were you shocked? Was there a grain of truth in it?

Were you open and non defensive? Were you happy to explore ways of moving forward?

@DFOD , really hard to say without explaining in too much detail. I would not want this to be identifiable for either of us ( seems particularly unfair to her tbh since it is me who is posting). I was surprised and upset ( sad not angry). I asked to meet her in person to discuss as I felt a text exchange wasn't really the best way. Some misunderstanding. Was annoyed that I cancelled having her dad but mine had COVID (which I had told her). She said she had no recollection of that ( was on the message). We are busy, things are easily missed. My poor DD had bloody COVID on her birthday ( which I had said). So I think a misunderstanding on both sides and no angry reactions. I was just bemused as I had no idea!

DD not Dad, that would be weird.

@BrownHairedQuirk , I am so sorry to hear about your experiences, it is pretty crappy all round.

I am really sorry you're going through this. I went through this too, it hurts, it's shit.

Couple of years on....It's better, it gets easier. Give yourself time to grief. It is ok to miss them. Wish them well, here is a little saying to get me by:
A true friend will be waiting... if not, you have to let them go, just like trains....If you are not going the same destination..... KEEP going, the right one will cross your path and will not cause any pain 💐

Is there definitely no way of repairing the friendship OP? Ask your friend outright, maybe there's been a misunderstanding?
If not then accepting that different people come in and out of our lives as friends at different times are for a reason. Sounds philosophical and I'm sure there's a quote somewhere that will be far more subsinct than how I've just said !
A friend of mine suddenly stopped contact and I think it was due to her misunderstanding what I meant when it was a bit of advice to protect her but I never got the chance to discuss it with her. Even now I'm not sure that that was the reason.
I just going if she was that much of a real friend then she would've talked to me about it but she didn't. I've moved on and have a much more honest friendship with someone else now.