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Original poster

When does sex end in a marriage with children?

71 replies

happydappy2 · 30/05/2022 21:52

Married for 20 years, 2 children late teens, husbands job very all consuming, I’ve felt like a single parent for years (although he does provide financially for us.) We had a great sex life when younger but now I just don’t fancy him….he probably doesn’t fancy me either! Just asking for others points of view as my libido has fallen off a cliff…. When do happily married couples naturally stop having sex?

OP posts:
AngelinaFibres · 30/05/2022 22:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

This. My exhusband and I stopped having sex after our youngest child was born. I was depressed and shattered and had a lot of damage from the birth. He was having an affair.
Happily married to second husband for 19 years. Still have a lovely sex life.

AngelinaFibres · 30/05/2022 22:49

happydappy2 · 30/05/2022 22:04

I wonder if men & women are compatible after menopause…..if men want sex & women aren’t bothered…

HRT and testosterone gel will make a huge difference to your libido ....and everything else.

EarthSight · 30/05/2022 22:57

TooBigForMyBoots · 30/05/2022 22:39

Menopause doesn't necessarily mean a loss of libido in women. I'm menopausal (on HRT) and would love a bit of how's yer father.😳

Show quote history

how's yer father

Lol. Never heard of that expression before XD

FrangipaniBlue · 30/05/2022 23:08

Babdoc · 30/05/2022 22:07

My PILs approached me for advice when FIL’s beta blockers were causing erectile dysfunction. They were in their late eighties at the time! So no, OP, happily married couples continue their sex lives indefinitely.

This is amazing 😁👏🏼

Juniper8 · 30/05/2022 23:36

Personally I’ve never been that interested. I prefer my own company. It took me years to realise that though. I have zero libido now and couldn’t care less. I find enjoyment in other ways.

Motheranddaughtertotwo · 30/05/2022 23:41

I’m currently going through menopause but not on HRT. We’ve been together twenty years and still have a good sex life.

Sortilege · 30/05/2022 23:51

Oh. I thought the question was “What makes a sexual fling evolve into marriage and children?” Nevermind. I’ll go again. 🤭😁

RosieRooster83 · 30/05/2022 23:51

I'm 39, DH 47. Be lucky if I get sex once a year.

Anothernick · 31/05/2022 07:45

We are 63 and 64, together more than 30 years, still DTD regularly. I dont think it's ever occurred to either of us that the other would stop wanting sex.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 31/05/2022 07:47

What generalised statements being made, and opinions being given as factual.

MagicTurtle · 31/05/2022 07:48

We've been together for 25 years and it's tailed off a bit in the last 2 years.

lassof · 31/05/2022 07:50

happydappy2 · 30/05/2022 22:04

I wonder if men & women are compatible after menopause…..if men want sex & women aren’t bothered…

That's why 'married dating' websites exist and thrive.

Polyanne · 31/05/2022 07:58

Usually when they have kids and the husband doesn’t do his share, so the wife hates him for dumping it all on her and won’t let him touch her. I would happily have sex with someone else, I just don’t want anything to do with my husband because he’s a dick.

mydogisthebest · 31/05/2022 08:03

We have been married over 40 years and still have an active sex life. Chose not to have children though so that has helped

Itsmyturn2222 · 31/05/2022 08:07

Sortilege · 30/05/2022 23:51

Oh. I thought the question was “What makes a sexual fling evolve into marriage and children?” Nevermind. I’ll go again. 🤭😁

😂😂😂😂 It does read like that!!

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 31/05/2022 08:09

Menopause hit us hard; testosterone and solo sex therapy have fixed it.

Minimalme · 31/05/2022 08:14

We have struggled to make time for it in the last year because there's been lots of stuff going on.

However, we have a brilliant relationship and both want to prioritise it more once we are through this and into easier times.

ilovemyelectriccar · 31/05/2022 08:15

Never, 42 years in and post menopause....

Looneytune253 · 31/05/2022 08:17

They don't I'm afraid. Most people would have peaks and troughs but once the kids are grown it usually gets back on track. Doesn't have to be wild or every day or anything but if you genuinely don't find each other attractive it's time to move on.

Sunnygirl1 · 31/05/2022 08:24

Regularmumnetter · 30/05/2022 22:26

Never I hope

I agree.

Sunnygirl1 · 31/05/2022 08:32

I keep our sex diary (I put a little heart around the day it happened) to see how often we do it, what can disrupt it, and sort it to improve it and to make sure it is happening often enough for us & regularly again so my husband doesn't slip :).

I hope we'll stay sexually active forever.

It's only a natural thing to keep having it when you love each other, care about each other, your hormones work well (or well enough), and when you are healthy and know how to help yourself to stay healthy as long as possible.

Sunnygirl1 · 31/05/2022 08:33

Usually, the better relations are in general, the more often enjoyable sex can happen.

Sunnygirl1 · 31/05/2022 08:35

Vitamins can also help to boost libido.

CHiSOCG · 31/05/2022 08:35

Sometimes don’t have penetrative sex for a while but will do other things like oral sex. Genuine tiredness - been together 19 years. Married for 13 two small DC under 10

Branleuse · 31/05/2022 08:35

I hope never. Ive been with dp 17 years, am menopausal but on HRT.
Its not as frequent as it was, but its still important to both of us and we genuinely enjoy each other