Anyone have close friends or is the idea a fantasy nowadays?

[redhoodred1]

People seem so distant and heavily invested in the ‘look after number one’ mentality.

I keep hearing that people shouldn’t put expectations on friendship.. thoughts?

I do think covid has changed friendships.
I regularly saw my closest friend all throughout the past 2 years.

But what does a close friendship mean to you?
sometimes I feel that my expectations are too high

I have 5 good friends. They all have different skills and strengths that I turn to them for. 3 married, one in long term relationship and one long term single. They're always there when I need help. If I call at an "odd/unexpected time" and miss my call they call back ASAP. I meet with them individually some weekly some monthly (they've only met as a group once at my dads funeral - hadnt met before that). We check in on each each and stay in close contact if going through a bad time. We help each other e.g moving furniture, giving lifts, looking after pets and houses when away...even chucking my ex out. They're my world and I dont think I'd still be here if it wasn't for them

Yes, I have close friends and colleagues as well as family. I thought most people did, really.

My closest friend I see once a week. Talk most days on WhatsApp. Holiday once a year together and regularly stay at each others houses. She is more like a sister to me. Other close friends (I have 3) I chat most days on WhatsApp and meet up around once or twice a month, hard to see them more with busy schedules but we know either of us would drop everything and come running if the other needed help.

I have what I call close friends, but it's not like on the show Friends. We text every 2-3 weeks and meet up every 2 months or so. I wouldn't ask them to help me move or paint my house or show up at their houses in a crisis.

But I think you are right that you can be happier if you manage your expectations. If I decided my friends aren't really my friends, aren't close enough, and wrote them off to find my "real friends", I'd lose something really valuable. We have fun, and we care about each other, and that's a lot.

I don't have any friends. I'm too guarded, I think, after going through years of hell thanks to toxic family members.

I think it's a sort of self defence mechanism from getting hurt.

Hi op know what you mean. Im def finding lately people slow to commit either a coffee cinema anything! I wonder has life got so full on again for people. So I stop asking them do things.

Good friends to me means people I could call at anytime and they would get to me as soon as reasonably possible. I'd do the same.

I have 7 or 8 of these friends. However, I'm almost 50 and all of these friends bar one, I've known for between 35 - 48 years. My 'newest' friend I have only known for 18 years.

A lot of the threads that have been on here in the last few days have very different ideas of friendship than I do. I really don’t agree that you should be emotionally invested in people, people can just disappear out of your life with no explanation when you you’ve been good friends for years and regular texting is “clingy”

For me a close friendship is supportive and considerate of each other, and making time and effort to see one another. None of this “protect your own time” or “I don’t see texts as important so I don’t bother to reply” business!

When you say high expectations, what do you mean.

I have lots of friends, a few good friends, but rarely ask anyone for anything. I think if I did ask, lots of people would help. I would help them too.

I guess I have 4 or 5 friends I am close to. Could turn to in emergency etc. I've known them all for a long time though ( decades).