Betrayed wives - when did you know your marriage was over?

[lolarose193]

I’m interested to know everyone’s views after my own personal experience.

Note: This is pertaining to cheating men who have had a long term affair / were in love with the same woman. Not just a one off situation.

Among the stories I have read, I see that many women eventually realise that their husbands never actually got over their AP, or didn’t want to leave them, and the affair stopped only after getting caught, and it usually happens within the 6 months - 1 year mark.

What I'm interested to know is what did recovery look like for you within that time frame or how long was the "reconciliation" stage?

How long did it take YOU to actually face the truth?

How did you feel when you did face the truth and how did you feel after you finally divorced?

What were the cheating husbands actions to convince you that he was repentant of his cheating? (And I don't mean the initial crocodile tears to get another chance, I mean within the whole time of the ‘trying to reconcile’ phase).

What was the defining moment that made you realise it's time to divorce?

Did your cheating husband go right back to the mistress after you divorced?

I’d be really interested to know other women’s views and experiences of this. So thanks in advance, for those who reply.

Could we hear your story first?

Sure, just didn’t want to make the first post stupidly long!

I was married for 8 years, together for 11. DH and AP didn’t meet ‘organically’ - he went looking. Dating apps! They had been seeing each other about 8 months when I found out.

At first he tried to make out it was just sex. Downplayed it massively. Standard. So we tried to make it work. Did all the right things, he went NC. We went to counselling. He seemed to ‘tick all the boxes’ in terms of expressing remorse. Our sex life never really recovered.

And then after 6 months of ‘reconciling’ I found out he was still looking at APs social media. I thought he had been miserable with all the guilt after discovery but in retrospect he was probably pining.

He would never admit they loved each other but I suspect they did. Well, they’re together now so I guess so.

We still (stupidly perhaps) tried to make it work but I was angry. We fought over everything. After about a year we finally decided to call it quits. And he seemed relieved. Almost like he wanted me to be the one to make the decision so he didn’t feel bad for not ‘fulfilling his obligations’ to the family. We have 1 DD.

I was relieved too to be honest, the love was long gone, I think we were clinging onto each other out of fear more than anything.

We’re in the process of getting divorced.