Dsis blanking me…

[Starsandtwinkles]

That’s just about it really. I’ve been a single mum to my dd(17) for many years. Dsis is now wanting to leave her Dh. I’ve tried to help and chat with her about it but she’s basically blanking me. I’ve also had some health issues and dd is doing her a levels. I’ve tried to communicate with dsis but she ignores my calls and messages. She knew I was having tests for a potentially serious health issue recently and has shown no concern. I know she’s having a difficult time - I remember all too well how hard separating is but feels like she’s just wanting sympathy when it suits her and never mind anyone else. Any thoughts?
TIA ☺️

Bump

Leave her to it. Concentrate on you and your dd

@EnjoyingTheSilence thank you for your reply 😊 Yes, I think you’re right - if she doesn’t want to communicate with me, there’s no point making an effort anymore 😞

Anyone else got any thoughts on this ?

Has your sister asked for help and advice? It might just be that she is finding your imput too much, or she is struggling to cope with what is a major life event.
As above, concentrate on your dd and your health.

Sometimes people overshare and then, if things change, they then back off from communication as you then 'know too much'. Is there a possibility that she has changed her mind but can't face explaining it all? I once knew someone who was going to leave her then boyfriend but it dragged on for ages, a mutual friend would always ask her and that set up a situation where the original friend avoided contact as she didn't want reminding. It just seemed like an added pressure. Like others have said just focus on your DD, your sister is an adult, your DD arguably needs more support at this point in time.

Thanks for the replies. I will keep my distance now until I hear from her. I guess it feels a bit upsetting that she’s showing no interest or concern for me and dd. And is just pretty much ignoring us 😞

It sounds like she may not have the capacity to support you right now op.

I've been in a similar place, I had so many things going on in my own life that I just didn't have the headspace to support others, even people I love.

Sometimes you just can't.

@isthenewsuff thanka for your reply and I totally understand what you’re saying. However it’s not like I expect any support from her (she’s not offered it in the past few years either either even through dreadful times).

leave her to it. my DSis did something very similar over a year ago, along with other narc behaviour. if this is your situation, then she is probably revelling in all the attention you are giving her and the power she is holding over you. mentally tell her to clear off and get on with your own life. no resuming communication unless she makes the first move and apologises for her behaviour.

however given her marriage issues it might be something else behind it - so maybe a message telling her you’re not going to reach out anymore given her silence, but that she how to reach you if and when she is ready.

*she knows how to reach you