My mother.
I'm not a fan if armchair diagnoses and, as everyone knows, these people rarely get diagnosed because of their unwillingness to accept they might he part of the problem.
But I my friend gave an account of her to a psychiatrist colleague who who described her as both 'textbook' and 'unremarkable' and said that, whilst my experience was undoubtedly shocking, what he'd heard of her wasn't.
The things my mother did during the time I knew her included making false allegations to the police about violence from me towards her; trying to get me sectioned and trying to get social services involved with my children. All so she could convince people she was my victim (it started when I was about 9). She repeatedly sabotaged me and then would tell people it was my poor mental health that had caused it and then tell everyone that she was swooping in to rescue me. She didn't do anything and the fact I remained in the shitty position she'd put me in was attributed to the fact I was beyond help and her efforts were testament to what a good parent she was and how much she'd suffered at my hands.
She would tell people in front of us things I had done and things she'd done to help support me. I'd known my ex husband since my teens so he knew the truth because he'd experienced it too. We just stood there open mouthed the first time. There was little point challenging her because she'd either a) double down and claim it was true even when you had physical proof or b) deny having ever said it.
She reframed things that had happened as something else and the lies she would tell about me have complete destroyed my relationship with extended family and people I was close to growing up.
we couldn't even challenge it because a) why would she be lying/lie about that? b) any attempt on my part to defend myself/give the truth just played into her narrative that I was the problem - see, all the things I've done for her and see how she denies it? As my husband said, "She'd have to be off her fucking rocker to be lying about some of the things she says about you." Except she was lying. And, "You can't defend yourself because it makes you sound off your rocker to accuse your mum of such lies or call her out in public."
I used to argue back and defend myself as a child but all I'd hear was, "See? See what I have to put up with from her?" and her friends would offer her sympathy and I'd sit there bewildered because none of it was true. But they believed her because who would say such awful things about their own child unless it was true.
In the end, it was her behaviour that brought the police and social services to our door and we were told they'd be seeking removal of the children of we maintained contact with her. It finally gave us the courage to go NC and we haven't seen her in over 10 years.
I suppose it gave her the last laugh though and the final proof that I was as mentally deranged as she'd spent a lifetime telling people I was. After all, what sort of woman would require so many years of help and support from her own mother and then cut her off...