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Original poster

Wedding party

53 replies

Sandpiper680 · 29/05/2022 18:17

So, quick question, if you were invited to an evening 'do' would you expect a buffet.
We are having around 30 family at about 5 pm for a buffet but then inviting a further 40/50 friends for drinks later, in think we should do another buffet as I think it's expected. But....second time round and small wedding trying to keep the cost down.

OP posts:

SpringIntoChaos · 29/05/2022 19:36

Yes..it's normal to serve a buffet at around 9-ish for an evening 'do'. Your evening guests will definitely be expecting one...or at least food of some sort!

I've never been to a single wedding where food hasn't been offered in the evening: from the traditional full blown buffet, through fish and chips, sausage and bacon rolls, burgers/hot dogs, hog roast (with pork rolls/sandwiches made from said hog) or just plates of sandwiches and crisps! But 'something' will be expected!

SleepingStandingUp · 29/05/2022 21:33

So registry office do in the week.
Then party at the weekend with 30 people at 5 with a buffet and then 40 more invited to join at what time later on?

motogirl · 29/05/2022 21:36

It's normal to have food of some kind - not necessarily a buffet, I've been at a wedding where they shoved large pizzas into the hall ovens and served with garlic bread as they were on a budget, also been to "bring a dish not a gift" weddings, particularly appropriate for second marriages who do not want more homewards

Original poster

Sandpiper680 · 29/05/2022 21:42

SleepingStandingUp · 29/05/2022 21:33

So registry office do in the week.
Then party at the weekend with 30 people at 5 with a buffet and then 40 more invited to join at what time later on?

40 more 7pm onwards

OP posts:

Passwordsffs · 29/05/2022 21:48

Yes I’m having small wedding with meal and friends later. Many are travelling so I’m offering a large buffet meal in the evening.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/05/2022 21:49

Sandpiper680 · 29/05/2022 21:42

40 more 7pm onwards

Show quote history

What's happening between 5 and 7?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/05/2022 21:53

Do the first guests arrive at 5? If so I'd do a buffet for everyone at about 7.30/8.

What's happening at 5pm?

Kite22 · 29/05/2022 22:02

I'm a bit confused.

Is it right you are actually getting married earlier in the week ?
In which case why are you having some guests at 5pm and some later in the evening ?

Surely you just have an evening party for everyone ?

But yes, I would expect food of some sort.
Mind, I wouldn't expect to pay £25ph for a buffet.
Where on earth are you that are charging that ?

Original poster

Sandpiper680 · 29/05/2022 22:15

Kite22 · 29/05/2022 22:02

I'm a bit confused.

Is it right you are actually getting married earlier in the week ?
In which case why are you having some guests at 5pm and some later in the evening ?

Surely you just have an evening party for everyone ?

But yes, I would expect food of some sort.
Mind, I wouldn't expect to pay £25ph for a buffet.
Where on earth are you that are charging that ?

Small family gathering of 30 at 5 pm ish for Buffett then everyone else comes later on at 7 onwards and it's just drinks...
No all family can come to the register office due to numbers and tbh I just initially wanted us plus 2 but that's got bigger...
It seems our idea is a bit daft, might just have to ask everyone at same time and buffet for all. Except older relatives won't like that, they'll want to eat earlier which puts us in a difficult position they bit want to be out late etc

OP posts:

OldTinHat · 29/05/2022 22:27

Yes, absolutely. (And I've been married twice and been to lots if weddings so know a thing or two 😁)

mindutopia · 29/05/2022 22:30

Yes, I would expect some sort of evening food. I think even people coming all day to a wedding will expect a full meal after the wedding (3 courses or hearty buffet) plus coffee/tea after, cake, and then evening food. We did cheese, fruit, charcuterie type stuff (though no evening guests), but friends have done wood fried pizzas, pork rolls, etc.

TargusEasting · 29/05/2022 22:34

Definitely, but it could be something simple that will soak up a bit of alcohol. Trays loaded with bacon butties, with bean burgers. Or various varieties of shish kebabs including veggie. Another alternative is to put out a huge cheeseboard and a variety of breads and crackers.

mindutopia · 29/05/2022 22:35

Oh and if you aren’t actually marrying on the day, just having a celebration with everyone, I think invite everyone and offer food and drinks. The only purpose of an ‘evening do’ is to invite the people you couldn’t fit at the actual wedding. But if you aren’t getting married that day and all the earlier buffet guests aren’t invited to the wedding either, it’s a bit odd to add on a third class of guests who don’t get to do the wedding or the food. Just host everyone for the party. It’s a bit odd not to.

Kite22 · 29/05/2022 22:57

Except older relatives won't like that, they'll want to eat earlier which puts us in a difficult position they bit want to be out late etc

Anyone who needs / wants to eat at their normal 'tea time' can eat before they come, if you just have the one party in the evening.

I agree with @mindutopia that the 'evening guests' are normally colleagues or friends that you can't afford to invite to the sit down meal after the wedding. If the actual wedding isn't on the day, it makes much more sense to "have a party to celebrate the wedding" starting at 7 or 7.30 and everyone invited from then.

2pinkginsplease · 29/05/2022 22:59

I would expect food of some sort if I was attending a party. Last wedding we were at this year had rolls and sausage/bacon for the evening buffet.

MaggieFS · 29/05/2022 23:04

7pm onwards definitely needs to include food.

stepuporshutup · 29/05/2022 23:07

Yes of course they would expect food especially that time of day and as pp has said do not underestimate how much food will be eaten, the five o clockers will probably want more food in the evening as well

Myyearmytime · 29/05/2022 23:41

I would do wedding day all 10 go out for meal afterwards .
On Saturday do afternoon tea for elderly relatives get them coming at 2pm food at 4 and
Get them going home by 6ish .
Then 7pm party
Food around 8.30. Just stuff to soak up booze and can be left out crisp or the bu

HeddaGarbled · 29/05/2022 23:54

10 at the wedding, then 30 people at 5.00pm followed by an extra 40-50 later is not a small wedding. The original 10 is the small wedding. The 30 at a buffet party, smallish. 80 at an evening do is a big party.

That’s fine if that’s what you want, but don’t pretend it’s small and therefore won’t cost you.

Under any other circumstances would you have a party and not provide food? No, you wouldn’t. Parties need food.

I’d do the buffet at 5.00pm and only invite as many people as I could afford to feed.

DenholmElliot1 · 29/05/2022 23:56

You should never serve alcohol without food.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/05/2022 23:59

I think you can only split it 5 and 7 if you make 5 a sit down meal, then have space for anyone who wants to stay to get a drink and then do a party with entertainment at say 7. 30 with buffet or similar at 9.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2022 00:02

Myyearmytime · 29/05/2022 23:41

Afternoon tea is a good call. The problem with big gaps between the two is presumably within the 30 are people who'd want to go to the party. I assume the older "must be fed by 5 and in bed by 9" are grandparents etc so only a small number. I think the two things need to abut and people can choose to leave when they want.

Are you doing first dance and cake cut? People might want to stay for that for example but not the dancing til 2am stuff

MrsDamonSalvatore · 30/05/2022 01:27

In answer to your question, yes I’d definitely expect food if invited to an evening do. (Unless explicitly stated that it was ‘just drinks’ which I probably wouldn’t bother going to personally.) If you don’t provide food, expect a lot of muttering about it behind your back!

I agree with the previous suggestion that some kind of afternoon tea for the early birds would be a good idea to put them on till the main buffet later.

Lochroy · 30/05/2022 07:18

5-7 pm isn't a lot of time for 30 people to arrive, greet each other, queue for a buffet, eat it and be finished before the 7pm invitees arrive anyway. Do you have to separate the two groups out? Could you not just invite everyone at 5pm?

Lochroy · 30/05/2022 07:19

Sorry, hit post too soon. Because then you would only need to do one buffet for everyone. Even if not until e.g. 6.30pm. And at 6.30pm, you could get away without doing evening food.

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