Money obsessed date

[buttercupmeadows]

Went out last night on a first date with someone I met at uni. Both mature students. He's 32 and in 25.
Went to a Turkish style cafe, very popular in our town. Not overly fancy, just nice and reasonably priced.
From minute we sat down he started asking the waiter how much is this and how much is that. Things like a lemonade or extra portion of bread with the meal.
Tbh it was embarrassing.
People were looking at us.
Asked if we can share 1 dessert then quibbled at the bill. It was right. Seemed very penny pinching.
After the meal we went for walk and I suggested getting a coffee as it was cold just walking around.
It was only Costa Coffee nowhere flashy, I even offered to pay but no he had to quibble and embarrass me again. In the queue I heard him asking if his coffee would be cheaper without milk and sugar. Seriously.
Then we shared a taxi home as live near each other. The fare was low but he asked the driver if he'd accept a cheque. Who even does that?
Wwyd about seeing him again? I'm not keen as he's money related questions put me off. How do I tell him this politely?

This is why you should always do a 'coffee date' the first time. Sat am in a coffee shop is good.

You can stay sober and get a good measure of them after a little conversation.....

Seriously unattractive, ungracious behaviour! As others have said, if he was having a cash flow problem he should have been open and asked you for coffee or a drink instead, or postponed. You're students so I'm sure you would have understood. At his age he should be able to manage either slightly embarrassing conversation, or a date on a budget without quibbling over every penny.

I wouldn't bother with him again. I don't actually think its because he was skint. In Costa, you can see the prices- if he was concerned he could have just ordered the cheapest thing or let you pay. He'll be like this again and it sounds so tedious.

Cheque??? Haven’t written one of those for about 15 years min. You don’t have to say anything just block and move on.

Yes I would have insisted on paying. He is clearly new to dating.

Many older broke men say...
Shall I get the first coffee or you?
Let's go Dutch 'big smile'
Or when ordering sat are we splitting the bill or do you prefer to go Dutch

Do we know that she didn’t pay her share?!

I would think he's scrapping to get buy, definitely avoid, level up not down.

*by 😂

He obviously has no money so it would be a polite thanks but no thanks from me.
Someone on a similar financial footing was important to me when I was dating. I want to eat out, go to the theatre, go on holiday etc.

LoekMa

I agree with 'I would tell him thanks for evening but there was no chemistry and you dont want to waste his time, then ask him if he has a paypal account so you can wire him your half, then delete his Number'.

Yes I feel a little bad for him too. Younger people don't have money to splash out. I would have felt dreadful along with OP feeling it's not romantic.

I would not accepted anything off him to start when he started asking prices, budgeting etc. I would have actually announced 'oh no don't worry i'm getting my own' and let him know I'm paying for myself. Whether he liked it or not.

I actually did something similar with last penny pincher bf - the first time we went out out other than free walks or hanging out he had discussed £££ a bit. I ordered water while he ordered booze. I was dying for a glass of wine but a) didnt want to offend saying I'm paying for my own b) didn't want him to pay for the wine it was around £7-8 a glass and the way he spoke about money made me 'pity him' so I pretended not to want much. Awful!

Aww what an uncomfortable situation. Whilst I feel bad for him (maybe he has autism and doesn't realise the social impact of this sort of thing) but I guess at the age that he is I would have preferred him to be straight up honest and say "look im a bit skint but I'd really like to see you, maybe we could go for a walk" even a take away coffee in a petrol station would have been grand as long as I was aware of his tight budget, but to go on a date with someone that said these things would have made me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable and I don't think I could pick up another date with him.

Sounds embarrassing OP. I won't meet him again. Why put yourself through it?
When I was much younger I dated someone almost equally embarrassing with his penny pinching ways. He was quibble about petty, trivial amounts. Like if something was a penny cheaper in a shop elsewhere he'd make a huge deal of buying it from the cheaper place... Travel out of his way and just to save a penny.
Would always make sure I knew how much he'd spent on my birthday presents (never anything expensive in any case, just supermarket flowers and chocolates).
I remember taking him out to Pizza Hut for his birthday and when the waitress came over to our table and asked what we'd like to order. He started asking me if he could have a medium margarita pizza. Waitress sensed my embarrassment I think. I was like "you need to tell this lady your order, she's waiting to write it down..". He asked me "Is it ok? Would you mind if I order a medium margarita?" - Why on earth would I mind?

what you have to remember is that this is your first date. this is him on his best behaviour so basically it can only go downhill from here. if you couldnt be doing with what happened on this date future ones are going to be any better. Just a short phone call or text "thanks for the date last night. I dont really think we are compatible but hope we can still be friends"