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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Confused about marriage

6 replies

finishednetflix · 29/05/2022 15:16

My partner of two nearly two years And I are very much in love. We've come through a hellish two months where he has been diagnosed with a life limiting illness .

Up to this we have always said that we'll move in together when our kids have fled the nest. We have long
Term plans.

I still want this. I don't want to blend families or have him move in with my
Kids . They have been through so much since their dad leftthree years ago and are still not 100% recovered.

I see my partner eow and a day or two on alternate weeks as we live far away from
Each other. This suits perfectly.

We spoke the other day about marriage. I'm not too sure about marriage anymore. I love my partner and kids of
Course but love my own home, space and time.
He does too although we've seen each other every single day since he got sick.

He said that he Believes in marriage and would marry again. I asked him if he thought we would ever get married.. just in general chit chat and he said who knows.
Not in a mean or nasty way but it was a casual conversation.

I Feel the same so why do I feel a little out of sorts ?
Fwiw we were having a fun convo last week and he said 'let's get married!'
I said' let's not! '
It was fun but twice, jokingly he has said he won't Be asking again.
Thoughts please ?

OP posts:
finishednetflix · 29/05/2022 15:35

Anyone please?
Possibly a bit delicate due to diagnosis and am prone to overthinking too !

OP posts:
finishednetflix · 29/05/2022 22:52

Anyone out there at all ...??

OP posts:
finishednetflix · 29/05/2022 22:53

Shamefully...

OP posts:
MintJulia · 29/05/2022 23:02

I've never met a man who risks saying let's get married, and not mean it (not sober anyway).
I think he's feeling alone after his diagnosis, maybe thinking he doesn't have as much time as he thought he had, and he wants to get on with it.

Difficult if you have children.

dreadlyn · 29/05/2022 23:04

I don't think you should marry if you don't want to. I think he wants the security of having someone to look after him should his condition worsen. But then again don't you love him enough to look after him, in sickness and in health and all?
Don't marry unless you absolutely want to. And tell him you like your arrangement the way it is.
Good luck 😉

finishednetflix · 29/05/2022 23:08

Thanks for being so kind to respond . I didn't take him seriously whatsoever . He knows that I adore him and We will travel this awful journey together but marriage... no way. Not now. I hope deep down that he was having fun . I think I would marry him
When my kids are done for bit they come first now .

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