Dp cant do anything on his own.

[Moomoola]

Aibu?! Dp has a v difficult job but at the weekend he can’t do anything on his own.
He paints a bit of wall..can I deal with the brush. I’m washing up..can I help him with x. He sits in the garden and asks me x. so I stop what I’m doing and go into the garden..why doesn’t he come into the kitchen to ask me? I’d never dream of shouting from a different room. Tonight he wants me to go downstairs and check x and y. Why doesn’t he just do it? It’s really driving me potty and makes me tired - I feel like I’m continually interrupted. I have said something but now I feel like I’m being a nag, saying things like, ‘ I don’t know if our teenage daughter wants x, why don’t you ask her’. Why doesn’t he? Drives me potty!

Just say 'no'? Tell him to do it himself then walk away? Don't keep dropping what you are doing and thinking for him.

He doesn't sound attractive.

Why are you pandering to this? What do you think will happen if you stop?

You are you're problem. You're the one pandering to his bullshit. It would have stopped long ago if you had refused to be mummy.

*your problem

Look up weaponised / strategic incompetence.

They 'fail' deliberately because they know you'll do it. So don't.

Do you also work?

If you don't want him shouting from a room, instead of going down there, just shout back 'yes?' and never go there.

If my husband asks me something and I don't hear I ask him once 'pardon?' if he mumbles again I say 'I didn't hear you again' and walk off.

I'm busy, I take care of this house. He needs to come to me. I clean after him because he works but I'm not running up and down stairs because he wants to ask me something.

I hear you OP.
I crack on with all sorts single handedly (including wallpapering the ceiling of our kitchen!) Whereas DH is from one of those families where they think it takes 6 adults working (very ineffectively) as a team to unload a dishwasher.
When he says "can you just give me a hand with X" (usually something ridiculous like holding a nail while he hammers it into a wall) I've started asking "OK, but first can you just make absolutely sure that it's truly a 2-person job and you can't manage on your own"!

Ignore him when he shouts.
If he carrys on, storm into the room and shout "What now?" In a very annoyed voice. When he asks you to help his little pathetic sole say, " So you have stopped me from doing x just because you can't be bothered to do do y! " Then say no, do it yourself, I'm busy.
Rinse and repeat.

I don’t know how you’ve managed this long without telling him to go fuck himself.
Don’t let him treat you like a maid or personal assistant.

Ha! Thanks all. Good tips! It’s tricky cos he works hard and I run the house, ( and work very part time but I need more) so I’m never sure what’s a fair division of household labour. I also get that he doesn’t want to do stuff on his own at the weekend. Maybe we need a better plan