Blocked but he keeps emailing...

[gogogadgetgo]

Split up a few weeks ago. Pretty acrimonious. I've name changed but have written about him. I think he's a narcissist. He shows all the traits.

Anyway he's blocked everywhere. Even on email. But emails go through to the bin instead of disappearing into the ether. But I never check there.

I had a text from a friend saying he'd been texting her. She'd blocked (after she checked with me) but saw he'd been checking her out on LinkedIn and got freaked out. I said to block him on there too.

So I went to email him to tell him to back off and found another pissy email in my bin folder. I told him if he contacted my friend (or parents or whoever) they were going to call the police.

This started another load of emails saying he wants to talk. He's just sent another one saying to let him know if I'm getting them as if not he'll have to sort 'a work around'

What the fuck? A work around. He wants another way to contact me. What's he going to do now?!

You made a mistake by engaging with him.
Cut all forms of communication. Do not email him. Do not read his emails.
Ignore ignore ignore

look up www.paladinservice.co.uk/

they can advise on what to do about stalking

You need to gather evidence and be ready to take out a restraining order.

Do not reply to anything at all.

Have you sent him a clear "so not attempt to contact me otherwise I will treat it has harassment" message in writing at all at any point?

Talk to the police. Stop talking to him.

Thank you. Yes I know. I only really replied as my friend asked me to and let him know she has seen him and was really pissed off.

Yes. I've said repeatedly I don't have anything else left to say.

I just don't know what he means by work around. What he's planning next. It's making me jumpy at home. I'm on my own in a pretty rural place.

I'm reading that link. Thank you. I guess it was a bit of a shock hearing the word stalking.

My ex did this op. I ended up with an emergency non molestation order and he was successfully prosecuted for stalking and harassment.

He's harassing you, you should definitely report it to the police. And start a journal of his attempts to contact you / your friends so that you have a clear timeline and rundown if needed in future.

Oh god. I thought this had ended. He just got his teenage son to text me...

I forgot he had my number. I didn't for one minute think he'd use him though.

You need to call the police right now. He is stalking you.

Your friend was really out of order asking you to contact your abusixe ex for her. I hope she now realised how stupid that was of her, and apologised.

I would contact the Police. Tell them what he's doing. Tell them he's saying he needs to find a 'work around' for contacting you and you're frightened this is a threat.

Don't respond to him.

Should have added....but save his contacts (may be evidence) and ask your family to do the same. You don't need to look at them. Just send them to a bin and keep it hidden.

You need to tell him that you don't owe him your time, have no interest in listening to anything he has to say and one more attempt to contact you either directly or through someone else and you are reporting him to the police.

And do it.

Don't reply to the son. Ignore! Ignore! Ignore!
It's all you can do. My ex still tries to find ways to contact me now but I ignore everything. Luckily I moved but I don't think he'd ever actually turn up if he knew where I was.
You could always take out a restraining order if you do feel that he might turn up

Also, if you think "I'll just reply to say leave me alone" DON'T!! They see this as positive interaction and it starts again

Ignore and report to the police. DO.NOT.RESPOND.

Keep the evidence and call the police.

Could you call the non emergency police number for your area and ask their advice?

Her friend didn't do that - it's op's ex, who text her friend to get to her.

This started another load of emails saying he wants to talk. He's just sent another one saying to let him know if I'm getting them as if not he'll have to sort 'a work around'

Send one final email saying:

"Your contact is unwelcome & I do not wish to hear from you again. If you persist in contacting me in the clear knowledge that I do not wish to communicate with you, it will be viewed as harrassment & the police will be involved."

Nothing else, so appeasing, no "sorry" or "please" or "thank you".

If he then contacts you again - report to police, & follow their advice to the letter.

OK I've seen your update about feeling rattled as you live rurally ... ring your local cop shop tonight. Explain that your ex is escalating, has made a sinister remark about "finding a workaround" to the blocked email, & is now using 3rd party devices to stalk you.

Tell the police that you live alone & this bloke is not listening to you telling him to stop contacting you. Ask them for advice on putting a 'marker' on your phone - sorry I don't know the terminology - what it means is that if you ring your local station, you will be recognised immediately & whoever picks up can quickly access your notes.

Taking even this small action tonight should give you a little peace of mind, & the police may agree to have a word with him once they have spoken with you & reviewed his pattern of contact etc.

For now - text back to the sons phone:
"Stop contacting me. You are fully aware that I do not wish to speak to you. I have called the police, who have advised me that any further contact from you will be viewed as harrassment. I do not want to hear from you, see email or messages from you, or have to fend off messages on 3rd party devices you are accessing in order to get past my technology blocks. DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN."

Mention of the police should set him back & make him think.
Tell him you've spoken with the cops even if you have not done so yet - but ring the cops tonight.

www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/sh/stalking-harassment/what-is-stalking-harassment/

I've said repeatedly I don't have anything else left to say

So stop saying things.

But definitely send the stop contacting me email that has been posted. Under no circumstances engage after that (police advice when it happened to me)

Call the police

Thank you. Sorry I'm just in shock really.

I'm also recovering from a chest infection so I'm wiped out and I can't really focus.

I don't blame my friend. She was scared after she'd blocked him he'd gone and found her on LinkedIn. Her question to me was whether he was dangerous and should she be worried.

I have issues with the police. It's a long story. But a few years ago I was raped. And the police managed to give my rapist my address. I posted here at the time. They reacted by sending policemen round to my house after midnight to threaten me into giving evidence after I repeatedly said I didn't want to. (They apologised for giving my rapist my address but said the rest was standard practice)

I became a recluse and lived in fear. My house backs onto woods. I put cameras up and the police gave me a door jammer but I never knew if he would turn up. My number is already on their watched list so if I ring I know they'll take me seriously.

But my ex knows all of this. He knows how scared I was. So even by hinting of doing anything he is already playing on my fears.

I don't think he has borrowed his sons phone. His son is at uni. I think he's asked him to contact me for him. It just says to reply to my ex (his dad)

I'm looking at the report online thing now to the police. Thanks again. I know it's really the only way. As much I don't want any more police involvement.