Don’t want to date but feel lonely..

[BiscoffSundae]

Does anyone else not actually want to date but still feels lovely and misses affection? I feel this way, I don’t want to date but can’t help but feel lonely at times mainly evenings/weekends don’t want a friends with benefits either, how do you overcome the loneliness?

If you definitely don’t want to date then you need to up your social life.
Spend time with friends so you get out and have fun but only in a platonic way

I'd LOVE to have someone special in my life. No social life at all and no friends either.

I now work from home for myself as and when....and I can go days just alone with one kids after school.

My staff are 15-20 years younger and may meet one or two per week if that for about 30 min max..work stuff.

I join dating apps...Facebook dating, tinder etc but after 24-48 hours I resent it. I resent matching with OK men (not men I feel WOW). Or having a conversation with red flags in every message or just being ignored by the men when the weekend comes. I feel oh boy why talk to him when he is obviously on a date ...

I went to church a few months...not one single man spoke to me.

I love walking and when I can be bothered sometimes the only social chat I will have with genuine people is a couple of the old married farmers about normal life.

I go to concerts sometimes with teen child and no one talks to you there too.

I feel loads of woman are in this position. Not sure why men don't talk to us.

PS resent the apps then remove myself by delete account. I even warn any matches that I'm very likely not to be there in a day or two and not to take it personally

None offer their number if I say that so I know they are not invested.

If however someone matches and gives Thier number instantly I never call. These type of men are gamers ..numbers game.

Definitely don’t want to date and fwb just aren’t for me but miss intimacy at the same time! No time for a social life as lone parent so sadly not much time for that and weekends and evenings mostly everyone is with their family

Have you tried Meetup?

Lots going on on there for different interests, hobbies etc.

Need affection? Get a dog or cat.

As for why di the people not talk to you, don't know - do you try to strike up a conversation?

If there are single men there they may not want to talk to you in case you see them as being in mumsnet term 'random man' or having you wirry that they're coming on to you. We have a few single men, long term batchelors, amongst our friends and they'll ignore/avoid solo females.

Is it male company you miss or just company? If it's the latter, then join groups/clubs and participate as little or much as you want. We all need an outside interest anyway. I just couldn't be arsed with dating anymore. Did it for a few years and feel sick to death of the let-downs etc.

Male company if I’m being honest, miss having someone to chat to someone that cares about me someone to hug or tell my problems to.

find making friends hard as an adult and don’t have loads of time for it as my kids are always with me, I will look at meet up though.

Yeah I feel similar. Also a lone parent so it does feel hard. I just don't think I have the time and energy to invest in brand new friendships as I'm only free every other weekend and in the week I'm busy at work and with my children and don't really have time to think about socialising or dating.

I do value and try to nurture my existing friendships, but everyone often has so much going on as we are either far away from each other or else local mates have small kids too or families and aren't really available. I'd love to just have some fun casual dates but the apps to meet potential dates exhaust me. It's always hit and miss and takes ages even matching with anyone I feel a vibe for. Some guys either seem to expect to just chat for ages once matched which I find tiring and too time consuming. Or else as a pp said they want to swap numbers right away which I don't like either as seems dodgy.

I also really do enjoy my own company when I get time to myself and will happily do things alone, but it's not like I want to hang around alone all of the time. It would be so handy to just have a nice bloke/fwb around, someone I know I'm going to be able to relax with and be affectionate with. But then after I've had a nice date I want him to be happy to go away and quietly wait til I'm next wanting to be social 😂 I appreciate this is very unrealistic and not at all what most people want from a relationship/dating so I'm unlikely to find it any time soon!

If there are single men there they may not want to talk to you in case you see them as being in mumsnet term 'random man' or having you wirry that they're coming on to you. We have a few single men, long term batchelors, amongst our friends and they'll ignore/avoid solo females.

I’m a single man and would 100% agree with this, If you want to have a conversation with a bloke you will almost certainly need to initiate something yourself.

God there’s no way I would consider a dog. I have a cat but tbh she has more of a social life than me and I barely see her so not so good for company

If you're looking for the level of intimacy described as in tell your worries to and maybe have a hug then that wouldn't be a casual friendship to s man. Men tend not to do that sort of friendship.

Could you see if there is a single parent meet up group in your area - or start one. Look into setting up picnics in the park or swims or cheap saturday cinema visits or similar. That way you get a social life without needing babysitters, and you meet people who get the pressure of always being the accountable parent. And you might meet a single dad who you get on with too.

I wouldn’t know where to start with setting up my own group but I will try to see if there is anything in my area, definitely don’t want a single dad I will never blend families sounds like a nightmare and hard work! I guess I just miss the positives of a relationship but don’t actually want to get back into one, thought it would be easier as time went on but it’s been 5 years now and seems to be getting harder. I’ve started fancying random men I would never look at twice usually which hasn’t helped! that’s how long it’s been 😅😂

I totally relate.

I'm a lone parent of two young DC and I often feel really lonely. My husband walked out on us 2.5 years ago and this is the longest I've been alone since I was 16.

I've tried dating apps (I'm bi and only interested in dating women atm) My ghosting record for talking to women on them is now at 100%. Any men I match with just launch into the "Hi gorgeous, you're fit" convo straight away and it's soul destroying.

I know people are saying up your social life but that's so hard when you're a single parent. For the record I have a dog, a cat and a horse but I'm still lonely.

I don't know what the answer is but you're not alone.

Thank you, glad to hear it’s not just me and yes to impossible having a social life as a lone parent! My kids don’t go off with their dad so I’m with them 24/7. Not really possible to have a social life.