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Relationships

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Original poster

Partner not helping in the home at weekends

28 replies

Lostinspacemummy · 28/05/2022 15:28

He works long shifts all week and at the weekends he wants to play gaming...firstly these are unsuitable violent games for our young children to see but he isn't bothered by it, I am. Secondly I'm a sahm and I'm never child free all week, I'd appreciate a break and some help keeping our home nice but at weekends he starts playing games, I hate it so I leave the room, if I ask him to not play it all afternoon or can he help me with something he will start to roll his eyes at me and start to moan saying he doesn't want to argue..as if I'm disturbing his time.. meanwhile the children are playing and he's not doing anything with them and I'm expected to carry on doing what I do any other day? Tidying up and hanging laundry up etc..fitting in gardening too, with no help from him. I'm fed up with our weekends being like this. I think we need to argue because he's causing it not me. I will talk to him calmly and I bet he will get moody and blame it on me somehow.. what would you do with this?

OP posts:

frozendaisy · 29/05/2022 09:51

NewandNotImproved · 28/05/2022 19:17

@Afterfire obviously because it’s a very bad idea to sacrifice her career and pension contributions to raise the kids of a man who is just a boyfriend. And one who appears not not really give a shit about her, or the kids he made.

Yeah if you are going to be a SAHM you need legal, financial security, which comes from marriage. If you have any niggle about your partner's commitment in you as the mother of his children, yeah I would get a job. Could be part-time to begin with but keep your hand in the working world because he could walk off and you have nothing.

megletthesecond · 29/05/2022 09:57

If he doesnt want to be part of a family then get organised and ready to split up. He's not mucking in so you'd be better off without him.

CharSiu · 29/05/2022 10:22

I am a lifelong gamer of 40 years but when dc were small I didn’t game at all plus never played in front of children when little and was very strict on certain games such as GTA.

I know this may be a weird question but what kind of game is he playing and what amount of time is he playing? I ask because some are a time sink and all encompassing if they are for instance an MMO game.

We all game in this house but yesterday DH and I went for a long walk of about 3 hours and did some housework, DS went to a friends BBQ and we watched the football together while having dinner plus we all gamed for a couple of hours. But I have friends online who do just game and literally do nothing else. It’s a genuine addiction and recognised as a MH condition now akin to alcoholism and gambling.

A friend of ours has just gone cold turkey, he was gaming for up to 16 hours a day when not at work and also choosing to get by on minimal sleep. He just could not get a healthy balance. His GF had threatened and she meant it to leave him.

Whether it’s gaming, golf, choral singing. pottery classes, sailing, the list of
hobbies is endless it is irrelevant what the hobby is it’s the checking out of real life that’s the issue.

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