This might be long so apologise in advance.
so me and my ex had been together for 5 and half years and we have a 3 year old son together.
5 months after I give birth I found out he’d been cheating on me with someone he worked with. He didn’t tell me, I found the texts on his phone. I still to this day don’t know exactly what happened. He just told me they admitted they had feelings for each other but I lied to him and said she text me saying they’d shared a kiss and he admitted it but that’s all he sad happened, I’m still not so sure.
anyway we decided after a break to stay together and make it work. I tried and I mean that I really did try to forget what he’d done but it was always there, in the back of my mind. I don’t drink a lot or go out so when I did sometimes we’d have an argument and it would get brought up. Which isn’t fair on him and it’s not fair on me.
oh also, since we got back together there has been numerous times he’s lied about girls. Not in the cheating sense but just little white lies about nights out and stuff.
so Sunday night we had a big argument and it got brought up again and he’s left. He’s gone to stay with his mum whilst I’m still in the house with our son. Hes coming tomorrow to have our son overnight at his mums house which I am absolutely dreading as my son has kept me sane these past couple of days.
it’s all still very raw and I’m really upset and sad about it. I know now this is my time to heal and be alone and sort myself out and in a perfect world later down the line we’d get back together!
Hes the absolute love of my life, he has been since we met at 14 and had a little childhood relationship together. I know our relationship wasn’t the best, he wasn’t given me what I needed or expected from a partner and I clearly wasn’t giving him that.
I just can’t imagine him with anyone else, it makes me physically sick! We’ve split up before and in that time he added all his past ex’s and people he’d slept with back in social media within the space of a week (childish I know). I just sit here alone at night whilst my sons asleep wondering what he’s doing, stalking his social media’s, wondering is he speaking to someone else, is he thinking about me, does he want me back. Like my head is all over the place.
i feel like he needs the attention from other girls to feel good about himself even though he shown me no affection or attention can’t remember the last time I heard the words I love you! We had a conversation no so long ago about us showing each other we care and love each other and his words were “im happy being the way we are, like no being all over each other. It doesn’t bother me we aren’t that way” which did upset me and I just agreed to be that way with him. Which lead to us not real lot speaking which then lead to this argument on Sunday night.
just how do you get over the love of your life? I just feel like I’ll never love someone the way I loved him, I’ll never look at someone the way I looked at him. Like I’m lost without him and I just feel like he doesn’t care at all.
please someone give me some guidance or anything at all to help me! I’m desperate 😩