I read my friend's Messenger messages. Well one of them. I know you will all go mad at me, and I understand why, but I have some serious concerns and I know I can't do anything about them. Sorry this is rather long.
It's a long saga; she has been involved with many men online, many of them who just seem to find her on Facebook and start a dialogue. There has been a married man, a local man who was odd, two who threatened her with the police for not backing off, and a relatively local guy (call him George) who has mucked her around for almost 10 months future-faking and pretending, lying and dropping her and picking her up. She has never met any of these men in real life but has engaged in sexual dialogue with them.
She's been having counselling through IAPT but that has now stopped for a while though she is due for an assessment in a month or so. I've listened to her crying and upset for hours, day after day because of these men. She recently had a visit from the police, which has resulted in the safeguarding team and her GP getting involved and checking up on her. She had been drinking, playing loud music and dancing about in the backyard and one of the neighbours had been in touch about it, instead of confronting her directly. She engages men (neighbour, the Domino delivery guy, anyone) in inappropriate chat. She is a worry, in short.
I veer between staying in touch weekly and keeping the conversation light because all this started to get me down, and worrying about her and checking she is OK. She seems to want to self-destruct in some way, making poor choices and self-sabotage.
Today I was at her house and used her laptop for some research. I looked at her messenger because I had been subjected to a tirade about George last week and I wanted to see if he was still messing her about. I wasn't going to do anything with the info but I wanted to be aware, There were no messages from him, there were several from people I know - her sisters, other friends from school, people I know. But the one that was on top and which was open was from a man with just initials. The profile picture looked like the man from Bad Manners and so did the photos I saw later. I clocked many of the messages and they were sexual in tone and very explicit. I didn't read them in detail but was enough to get the gist. They were sending intimate pictures to each other too, which you can imagine. They had sent photos of themselves and he had sent a video, that of course I didn't open. I skim read the messages but it was certainly enough.
This man is married as his wife was mentioned and my friend was saying that the wife looked a mess. He said that his mother lives near my friend and he will call to see her. I doubt they have ever met, but he may well turn up on her doorstep. She had given him her full address on the messages. He looks revolting, but if he looked like Orlando Bloom it still isn't appropriate.
There's nothing I can do about this. I can't talk to her for obvious reasons - it is her business, but she is putting herself at risk. If I tell any friends IRL as they may think I am untrustworthy and would go in their purse/handbag/phone (I wouldn't - I have never done this before and have no reason to with anyone and I never would) and give me a wide berth.
What do I do? I guess the answer is absolutely nothing. This guy might share the photos and it could end in a nightmare. Do I call the safeguarding team at the police? She was open with me about that, and showed me the correspondence. If I did, would they divulge who had told them?
I expect many comments saying I am no friend, cannot be trusted and that sort of thing but I do hope that someone at least understands where I am coming from.