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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My partner has left to return to her husband who she left 3 years ago

9 replies

Busterlovinglad · 25/05/2022 21:28

we have been together for over a year when she decided to leave and return to a marriage that she said had died pre covid but that she had to stay in through lock down. When we met she had been alone for sometime and gradually as our relationship developed she became constantly happy and smiling, something her family and friends noticed and frequently commented on. We renovated her home together and she constantly told anyone who would listen that she was in love and wished we’d met sooner. I lived with her each weekend as I work away and she wanted me to move in permanently as did her children. When he found out about me he was suddenly interested again and has been seeing a therapist, promising to change. He is an older man, retired who’s just recently received another large payment for the sale of his business. This has coincided with her spending the last of the settlement she received. I earn a very good living and was happy to support her and the children but this obviously isn’t enough. She admits she loves me but won’t talk to me as she says she needs to focus on her marriage. Help please, can someone change fully? What do I do to win her back or do I just walk away, take the hurt and try and move on?

OP posts:
Neverendingmindfuck · 25/05/2022 21:32

Im sorry, she used you.
Block and move on to someone who will care about you when you're ready.

Sqeebling · 25/05/2022 21:33

Walk away and you'll find someone that suits you better. There is no point hanging around for her. You'll be fine

LooseGoose22 · 25/05/2022 21:36

Yes, to be honest I would move on.

She's made her choice and said so "needs to focus on her marriage".

A year is not a long time in the scheme of things.

Especially compared to the history, investment, ties, bonds.. however its best expressed of a years long marriage with kids.

You sound like an eligible, sensible man with a good job; open to a serious relationship. You're in short supply. You can meet someone else in time.

She may try to pick up with you again sometime in future but you may find youve moved on and are no longer interested by then.

LooseGoose22 · 25/05/2022 21:39

was happy to support her and the children but this obviously isn’t enough

Why should you have had to; that's up to her and their Dad. It'd a lot within a year or so to be living together abd supporting supporting and her kids from her marriage.

HollowTalk · 25/05/2022 21:48

She has used both of you. For heaven's sake don't give her another penny.

Seraphinesupport · 25/05/2022 22:11

she's after money thats all it is, I would move on and thank god you learnt of her ways before too long

shebuildsquickmachines · 25/05/2022 22:17

What a gold digging skank

Sorry you have been hurt but you've had a Lucky escape

Figgygal · 25/05/2022 22:20

Sounds like you might have dodged a bullet there op
Still hurts though

Onthedunes · 25/05/2022 22:21

You renovated her home ?

Is that your own labour or just the use of your own money, or both.

That's not a pleasant thing to do, she's a user.

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