Unhappy and trapped

[2022herewecomw]

Just need to tell the universe how unhappy I am in my relationship. Feel like I’ve wasted my life on the wrong man but not in a position to leave. I’ve tried to not feel like this but it isn’t going anywhere and life is passing me by. I feel so alone and isolated and trapped and I don’t want to feel like this.

i know there is nothing anyone can do about it but me but I just wanted to put it out there.

[Aquamarine1029]

Take control and make a plan. You may be delayed, but you are not trapped. If you really want to leave, you will find a way.

You can either squander the rest of your life or get busy and get yourself out of there. Your choice.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Do you want to vent or discuss possible solutions? Both are fine but the responses might vary.

[Maytodecember]

You have the choice of continuing as you are or breaking free and making the life you want happen.
Start making a plan for what you want, then put things in place to achieve that. You can do it if you want it.

[2022herewecomw]

3 children one with autism I’ve tried to make plans but so worn down everything seems impossible I know that sounds really negative and I try not to be but it’s where I am at

[Theoldhouse]

You have the choice of continuing as you are or breaking free and making the life you want happen.
Start making a plan for what you want, then put things in place to achieve that. You can do it if you want it.

I don't think it is as easy as this with young dc in the picture. Especially where finances and lack of practical support play a factor. I'm guessing this probably applies to you op? How old are your dc?

Quite often there is a trade off too. For example, seeing less of the dc (shared custody) or having to change jobs for more pay/get a job so therefore being around less for the dc/work stress/pressure. There can be all sorts of factor at play that makes it not an easy choice.

What sort of plans have you tried to make op/what are your barriers? Maybe even starting small such as trying to expand your social network or improve your life as it stands - for example to try and reduce your sense of isolation? It can feel very lonely being in the wrong relationship, more so than living alone I think.

[KangarooKenny]

Are you married ?
Do you work ?

[Itjustgetsbetter]

I feel in a similar position but with two DCs with autism. A lot of marriages don’t survive being a carer for a child with Sen. Do you work?

[Virgogirlxx]

I could of written this myself, I actually came on here because I needed to share how miserable I am in my relationship. I’m sorry you also feel like this because it’s a lonely and depressing place to be. 😢

I also feel very trapped, I have a 1 year old and I’ve told my partner multiple times how unhappy I am and not wanting to be with him but he refuses to acknowledge how I feel. We live in a house I own and he refuses to leave, just carries on like normal and tells me he’ll never leave as he’ll never have another man around his child. Even though this is nothing to do with why I’m unhappy, I don’t want to be with anyone else I just want to be on my own with my son. He drains me, financially and emotionally and I feel like I’m never going to be happy. I see everyone around me getting engaged and married and so happy and it makes me so sad because I feel like I deserve to have that happiness too. I feel like I ruined my life and I wish I never met him but I love my son to bits and I’m glad I have him. Sorry to hijack your post, I just needed to share this.

[2022herewecomw]

@Virgogirlxx so much of that resonates with me too, I have tried telling him how unhappy I am and I’ve had enough and he acts like I have said nothing and the same never have another man around his kids (as if that’s what I am thinking of anyway I literally feel like I never want to be near another man ever again). I have felt like this lots of times I’m beteeen periods of everything being ok hence more dc but I’m now at the realisation I’ve wasted a lot of my best years on someone who is making me miserable and draining me.

@Itjustgetsbetter i can understand why a lot of relationships don’t survive, life is very difficult and intense. My children are 3,5 and 8. I get no time alone, well maybe between 11pm and 5am when all 3 are asleep (although up multiple times in the night). Child with autism hasn’t been in school since before Xmas but due to start a new school in September. I had to give up work 2 years ago because of issues with schooling and lack of childcare for autistic child.

we have a house. I would need to go back to work to move out. He would never leave.

I would love to widen my social circle but It is very difficult as my Sen child won’t leave my side. A lot of my friends don’t get the lack of logic that comes with an autistic child and don’t seem to grasp that I can’t go on a course and learn how to fix them or are naive enough to think that getting the right support will erase all problems. Plus I am finding it hard to relate to anyone at the moment eg school mums as I feel like we are living a very different life.

i just don’t know where to go from here as whichever way I look at it I am just stuck. I would love to go back to worth but I have exhausted every option for childcare he cannot cope and it fails. I am not hopeful the new school will be work either.

Thank you for your replies I appreciate it

[Fallingbythedozens]

Honestly I feel the same way and no one knows it.
I feel trapped, 3 children one with ADHD. Partner has ADHD as well
I am trying to see how I can get job/make money. I had saving 20 years work but the bank went bankrupt ( in another country) . I don’t have family to fall back on and it breaks my heart to think I want out because the happiness of 4 people depend on me.
all I know that I need to get my affairs in order.