Help! Please!

[Relaxing2]

I'm in a complete mess I lost my partner to cancer and my new partner new this and I said to him I've falling in love with you don't let me fall in love with you if this isn't what you want and he said he does anyways fast forward 11 months later he just says to me out the blue I don't love you anymore and want to be on my own this had completely thrown me because I thought all was perfect he keeps running back to ex telling her things about me like he's leaving me I'm so stuck I just don't no what to do I'm just massively heartbroken why would he do this to me after no knows all I've been threw!

I'm sorry @Relaxing2 . The reality is, he isn't the man you think he is and what you're in love with - this perfect idea of him - isn't real. I'm sure he meant it 11 months ago and thought nothing would change, but people do. We cannot promise to anyone we'll love them forever and know we'll keep it.

I'd break it off, block and delete and then access grief counselling.

Good luck

I'm so heartbroken why do men feel they can do this to women

It isn't that simple. Women fall out of love too. Women have unresolved ex issues too.

Why do we do this to people we're meant to care about? Because people are inherently selfish.

He can't help the way he feels now. He fell for you and now he's fallen away from you. That's life. It's horrible and it hurts but you know you'll get over it, you really will.

It's not his fault he hasn't done this to hurt you. He just doesn't feel the same as you do

Sorry you’re suffering. It wasn’t his job to stop you falling for him. You know that. It’s a new relationship, he wasn’t over his ex and you’re probably still grieving your partner. Sometimes things don’t work out. Men and women equally treat other badly and can be selfish and cruel.

I'm very sorry that this is happening to you.

Unfortunately the sad loss of your previous partner can't be used as a reason to ensure that a new partner's feelings never change.

I'm more hurt at the fact he's lead me on and let me fall in love with him he's told me this he's not loved me and always wanted to be on his own

How can someone "let" you fall in love with them? Its an emotion, needs no permission. I think you need to be on your own for a bit.