OK at no point has the op said that her oh wants them pts!
It's not great, but it is understandable that he's feeling resentful about someone else's dog weeing inside, especially if he's never had pets himself. There are always threads here about people struggling with the puppy stage and feeling resentful about their own dogs - old age can be just as challenging.
If he is just being honest about his feelings, which are probably heightened given the other tensions in their relationship, then he's not necessarily a bad guy. We all let off steam at times and we don't sound our best when we do.
However, having understanding for the man doesn't solve the op's problem and obviously she's not going to abandon her dogs because he's finding them challenging.
I also looked at another of op's threads about tension with their blended family and couldn't see any evidence that he's been complaining about her children either, so I think the bloke is being unfairly tarred in some of these replies.
Op - I see you have 4 main options:
- he calms down, you talk things through, agree ground rules, move in together with your dogs and see how it goes (I wouldn't sell your own home if you move in with him though
- you rehome your dogs and focus on building a life with him (don't think anyone sees you doing this)
- you continue to live apart for the time being
- end things. I think you need to weigh up how happy and loved you feel in your relationship overall, tensions at blending families/lives are normal and from reading your other thread it sounds like you're a more chilled and tolerant person than he is.
I've read recently about a bell you can buy to hang on the back door handle. Dogs learn very quickly to ring it when they need to go out. I think this would be a good idea for you to try - given that your poor dog is only going in the kitchen, they're clearly haven't lost their faculties. Or you can look at the Fluent Pet buttons.
Both his children are old enough to navigate the odd puddle of wee on the floor, so he's either being precious or he's worried about their mother kicking off. Which it is will determine how you respond to that concern.
Re the smell and mess. It is hard, it's hard for anyone (including your dogs). I think you both need to take a bit of time to cool off after his emotional offloading last night.
It's not just you who has decisions to make here. Presuming your dogs are non negotiable, then he also needs to decide what he is able and willing to bend on. It might be too much for him, that doesn't make him a bad man just someone with different tolerances to you.
Maybe he needed to let off steam, maybe the mess can be managed better by noticing it earlier to clean up. A room diffuser or opening windows more will also help with smell.
Focus on practical changes you can make to reduce the impact, but in turn he needs to respect your position, appreciate your efforts and make an effort to take a deep breath and let it go.
I get the feeling he's a bloke who's not very good at this, who let's his initial feelings dominate his reactions. Unless he's willing to examine this (eg cbt), because it effects him more than anyone else, this is going to be an aspect to him that will be present throughout your lives together.