Life after a baby..

[Hartbeets]

Any reassurance here?

5 months into parenting. The arguing has stopped, no time for eachother apart from 2 date nights so far (we’ve been lucky with grandparent help!) and sex sometimes not even once a week

will we kind of get back to ‘us’ a bit? I know we’re different I just miss having sex and being close haha!

I love being a mummy more than anything in the world though I wouldn’t change it for a thing! So I feel so guilty when I miss DH a bit

"Sex sometimes not even once per week"

At 5m I think we'd had sex once. It can take a while for your body and mind to feel ready and able to be intimate again. It's great that you're having sex and wanting it!

In my experience it got a bit better at 6m when we sleep trained and could rely on having a good night's sleep and an evening to ourselves most nights, if we wanted to spend time together. Until we sorted sleep out, it was just a free for all really of tag teaming sleep and baby care.

Have you actually spoken to him about how you feel? And making time for the two of you? If you have grandparent support and have been able to get away on a couple of dates without your baby then that's super lucky and a resource to utilise if they're happy to.

@KingofLoss This makes me feel better! I felt pressure that we haven’t had sex as much. It’s hard as DH works full time and our baby is currently in our bed a lot at the moment at night needing comfort (sleep training - not cry it out - after 6mo mark) so it feels like we never just get to sit alone

We have my mum and dad to help. His mum isn’t the best with the baby so I wouldn’t trust her with him as harsh as it sounds.

as much as my mum and dad will offer to babysit (they’d do it weekly if I asked) I feel horrendous guilt sending him away like I’m ‘palming’ him off

DH agrees but seems to just be like it is what it is. He doesn’t show emotion/feeling much so I can only assume he feels the same way

Me and DH didn’t have sex for 14 months after our first baby was born.

12 months with the second.

I think “sometimes not managing it once a week” is acceptable 😂

17 weeks in here and we’ve had sex once 😂