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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Married man

11 replies

Marth4567 · 24/05/2022 13:44

I have been in a relationship with a married man for over 2.5 years. I knew he was married when I met him as was I. He told me his marriage had been over for some years and they slept in separate bedrooms for past 5 years. I left my husband for him nearly 2 years ago. He eventually told his wife about us 9 months ago. She threw him out and he came to mine, but left after the weekend saying the house is jointly owned. I have seen since papers he'd hidden that she started divorce proceedings on adultery but he ignored them, she then proceeded with unreasonable behavior, there's also letters from her solicitor asking he discloses his finances. He has still not done this. (No children involved). I also found a letter she wrote to him wishing him well and she hopes he has now found the woman he has been searching for all his life, there was no animosity in the letter. I know he has had several affairs throughout his 3 marriages. It seems she was fed up with his cheating and is relieved they are splitting. From what we can see she is now seeing another guy. I am now getting fed up of waiting for him to leave or at least get his finances sorted and the divorce settled so we can move on. Our plan is to buy a house together. We are both 56. I know he is worried she will go for half his pension. I keep on at him to speed things up but he never does. Am I wasting my time?

OP posts:
FuchsAndMöhr · 24/05/2022 13:45

He sounds like a right catch!

Or maybe you deserve each other 🤷🏼‍♀️

MyDogLucy · 24/05/2022 13:46

Haven't you just done another post about this?

Coachwork · 24/05/2022 13:46

Look at your previous thread for answers...

Giveitall · 24/05/2022 13:50

Lots of us have responded via your other post!!
Get to grips with how Mumsnet works and on life.
Dump the loser. Do it soon.

Thekormachameleon · 24/05/2022 13:54

Tillym1963, is that you?

Silverbirchy · 24/05/2022 13:56

He sounds like a weak, spineless, unpleasant loser. Get rid of him. Move on with your life and start working on improving your confidence and self respect.

theonlygirl · 24/05/2022 13:58

You want to buy a house with someone who had several affairs throughout his 3 marriages??? I really hope this is a wind up.

Andromachehadabadday · 24/05/2022 14:05

Why did you post this again?

is it because posters pointed out you posted from the wife’s point of view before?

Justcallmebebes · 24/05/2022 14:08

I know he has had several affairs throughout his 3 marriages.

He sounds lovely OP

KettrickenSmiled · 24/05/2022 14:09

Am I wasting my time?

I think I spotted a type OP. I think you meant to type "AM I INSANE?!"

How is it you are so focused on his wife, yet the only piece of info that seems to concern you is "I know he is worried she will go for half his pension."
and not -
his foot-dragging in wanting to actually leave her for you
his sharp exit when he remembered that his affair with you is gonna cost him half his house
his unwillingness to allow his wife to divorce him,
his financial non-disclosure
or the fact that you are only one in a string of extra-marital affairs he's had?

Is your self-esteem so low that you think you're finally on the brink of "winning" this chancer?
Are YOU worried about his pension, too? Jealous that half of it will likely end up in his wife's pocket, so not benefoit you?

Of course she'll fucking go for half his pension. It's half hers.
Good luck surviving on half his assets, for as long as you'll manage to keep this man before he lines up his next shag.

MardyOldGoth · 24/05/2022 14:10

Am I wasting my time?

On a serial philanderer? Surely not!

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