Hi, everyone,
I'm a European citizen: she's from East Asia. We're 23 and 25, respectively.
Been together for almost two years. I knew her during an university exchange and we've been doing this long-distance relationship all this time. She lives in this same country we knew each other, so meeting up every month/month and half is not really a problem. She's already met my parents and been in my house on multiple occasions.
The thing is, since almost the beginning of this relationship, she's been behaving shadily and carried out things that made me lose confidence in her. she describes herself as "people pleaser". Her principal worry is getting along with people, be "well liked", be accepted. She has a real trauma with that, it seems.
These things are things such as telling me, laughing, that a friend of hers—same nationality—established the condition of doing a threesome with her new boyfriend if my GF wanted to know this guy. Another one was when she stayed in a new friend (guy) house for 4 days (as far as she told me) and didn't tell absolutely anything after I went to see her again. "No love intention was involved", she was spouting as she giggled. The very same day she even posted on social media how this guy had become like an older brother for her and for her family.
To cap it all, once I was in her apartment, where she currently lives, and stumbled upon a paper sheet saying that she misses this guy and meeting him was one of the best thing happening to her last year, remember the day when they first saw each other—"our bridge".
To put in context, this guy is living in the US right now.
The last of these weird events was as follows: my mother, as she cares and grew affection to my GF, decided to send a collage video to her via WhatsApp on the occasion of her birthday. This video lasted 15 (fifteen) seconds and she sent her around 8 am. Well, my GF responded and thanked my mother for it at 23.00 because, according to her, was very occupied at the zoo. However, she still found time to post instagram stories. I guess just a simple "thank you" would've done. Two words, literally. In the last few days, I can notice how my parents are kind of "resentful", joking about it, asking me if she's at the zoo, etc.
Moving on, I reckon she encourages me to keep on dreaming and marry, be the mother of my children, but deep down, it all has already changed. I would like to go back and change everything, but I can't; I can't accept it: I don't trust her as before. As much as I'm trying to brush the whole thing off, I can't even treat her as I used to as I recall memories of this weird events I'm describing and I can't seem to forget all, because I feel used and betrayed.
Next year we've planned on living together in this third country she's currently living in, since this June I finish my degree. If not, another possibility—in case she doesn't find a job and, due to this, her VISA expires— is heading to her country.
Furthermore, this summer we've already planned—tickets bought—on my going to her country to finally meet her family and her nation. Right now, we're waiting for authorities to announce if the borders will be opened for foreigners and, if so, I'll be staying there almost 2 months in her house.
Will she change? Is it worth keep trying? I know generalising and stereotypes are no good thing but is this kind of attitude common in East Asian people?