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Partners involvement at home

1 reply

Lostinspacemummy · 23/05/2022 09:30

I'm a sahm and I'm not enjoying it, I'm so tired and it's affecting my MH. I have 2 young children to care for (one is in school now) and that's the only reason I'm at home or I'd be in some kind of work.
My partner works long hours and he basically is home in the evening to eat, wash and sleep and then back to work again. We have no relationship really..we don't have sex anymore and I'm really not interested, he tries to be affectionate and touches my bottom sometimes but I really don't like being touched even.
At weekends he sits on the sofa (I know he's tired from work but so am i) he's always on his phone or watching tv or gaming, he will hold the baby on the sofa if he's asleep and otherwise doesn't do anything with the children.. its almost like he's a guest in his own house. He cooks weekend meals for us but doesn't cook for the children so I still have to do that and everything else.. I'm getting no break, the house is a mess and he doesn't care about the mess.
I want to ask him to help more at home but I'm worried it will become an argument or il have to walk out at the weekend just to get away and have an hour or two for myself.
I feel stuck and trapped in this role, it's affecting our relationship and my MH. I've contacted homestart and the wellbeing service and he has no idea or isn't interested.. I can't talk to him about my feelings as he turns it around to make it about him. I think hes selfish and looks after himself, he behaves differently around family and he's better with his nephews and niece than his own children. Sometimes I'd rather be worked away as I feel I can get on with my routine better then.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 23/05/2022 09:33

Even if you got a job would he step up and do 50 % ?
If the answer is no then I think you need to consider if you want to work and do everything.
Personally I’d be going it alone so that you’re not cleaning up after him, and you’ll get some time off when he has the kids.

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