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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm so cross with myself!

13 replies

fluffytoebeans · 22/05/2022 13:16

I had been with my ex for nearly 5 years when he walked out of my house 6 months ago, telling me that he was sick of me and to not contact him again. We hadn't been arguing, the relationship (I thought) was good so it completely blindsided me. I also had to pick up the pieces with my DS who loved him to bits.

I haven't heard from my ex since he left so I never knew what the reason was. I never text him to ask either as I was so angry/upset/shocked at how he had behaved.

I've spent the last 6 months getting over the relationship, and although I'm not completely there, I feel much better about things. I've also spent a lot of time at the gym and feel/look better.

I posted a photo of myself on Instagram yesterday (I don't usually) and I woke up this morning to find that my ex had liked it. He stopped following me when we split up, but my profile is open to the public so he can still see if he looks for me.

I am using all the strength I have to not text him. I don't even know what I want to say. I'm wavering between wanting to reach out to him and asking him how he has the absolute audacity to like my photo after the way he treated me.

In reality I know I 100% shouldn't text him anything whatsoever ever. Could I have some reassurance that is the right thing to do? When we were together he had a habit of making me question everything I was thinking/doing and it looks like he's still having the same effect.

OP posts:
Manekinek0 · 22/05/2022 13:19

Block him! What a creep. He's obviously regularly checking your Instagram.

The way he treated you and your DC is disgusting. He doesnt deserve another seconds thought and all that contacting him will do is set you back. I very much doubt he would give you honesty over how the relationship ended.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 22/05/2022 13:21

"he had a habit of making me question everything I was thinking/doing"

That is a very bad sign and indicates the relationship was no where near as happy or good as you say it was. Constantly questioning yourself is what abusers to do to you.

Block him on all social media and your phone so you take control that he is no longer in your life, you are ending it for good. He was bad for you when were together and there is no need to suffer that now. Open yourself up to new good things coming into your life by closing that door.

MagicTurtle · 22/05/2022 13:21

He sounds like an absolute arse OP! Block him

madroid1 · 22/05/2022 13:24

He calls, you run?

He gives you a tiny amount of attention, you respond?

He treats you like shit, you ask why?

Fuck that. You get on with your life. Hold your head up. And despise that useless excuse of a dickhead.

SunshineAndFizz · 22/05/2022 13:24

100% block him/make your account private.

Does he even get in touch with you about his DS?!!

TibetanTerrah · 22/05/2022 13:24

MagicTurtle · 22/05/2022 13:21

He sounds like an absolute arse OP! Block him

No, don't block him, as that's still giving him a reaction which he'll love, that he's got under your skin. Just ignore.

fluffytoebeans · 22/05/2022 13:25

Just to clarify, my DS isn't my exes.

OP posts:
Bunty55 · 22/05/2022 13:27

Block him. The photo was the perfect excuse for him to get in touch and then wait for you to go running after him. Don't. Block. Move along there.

BreakerOfBras · 22/05/2022 13:28

You know deep down that this would be a really stupid thing to do. Men like this always start with a like on SM or similar. It's literally like casting bait to them and waiting for the woman to reel herself in. Please don't set yourself back by playing into his hands. He sounds crap!

Iamnotamermaid · 22/05/2022 13:37

Block, do not even consider any other option.

fluffytoebeans · 22/05/2022 13:55

I just can't get over the nerve of him to like my photo after everything he did. At least I know to make my profile private now I guess Hmm

OP posts:
BiscoffSundae · 22/05/2022 15:31

Block, your ds isn’t his no need to stay in contact tbh

CheesusWept · 22/05/2022 15:35

Sorry, but he 100% left you for someone else and now he’s sniffing around again.

What an utter arse. Block him.

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