Relationship has gone pear-shaped since post natal depression....

[mum2phoebs]

I was diagnosed with PND when DD was 10 weeks, she is now 18 months. I was on anti depressants until October last year. Whilst I was ill my husband did EVERYTHING cooking, cleaning, tidying, bathing DD, changing you name it he did it.

Now I'm off the ADs I am trying to get back into the swing of things but I'm finding it dead hard and it's causing big problems in our relationship. He is STILL doing the vast majority. I seem to only get myself and DD ready in the mornings and that's about it.

I don't think I'm 100% better, but am not going to go back on ADs as I feel better off them.

We hardly ever have sex now cos I can't be bothered, we argue over the silliest of things, I am 4 stone overweight which I am doing something about but I still hate myself and think i'm a crap mum and wife.

I just feel I've wrecked our marriage with the PND and have come through the other side a different horrible person. I don't know what to do.

Don't let the PND do this to you. It sounds like your DH has been a lot more helpful and supportive than some are so talk to him and work out a plan for how you can get back on track.

Good luck.

Have you spoken to your DH about how you feel? PND can take ages to really get over, I don't think anyone just wakes up one day feeling better and then lives happily ever after. It's easy to feel horrible if you are tired and a bit depressed and all, but once you feel better you will feel better, if that makes sense!

Nobody is perfect but you're surely not a crap mum & wife, or why would your DH have gone to the trouble of doing everything he did for you? He must love you and want you to get better, and he might be the best person to talk to about it.

Good luck

I had PND, i had 2 kids in a year (OMG) and it was tough, it took a couple of years for me to get through it, and it has changed me as a person, or maybe being a mam has, I'm not sure. You will get through it, baby steps is the way, set a small list of things you want/need to do every day (like having sex with husband perhaps) and DO THEM! Just 5 things for example, make them achievable and your confidence slowly starts coming back, you're not crap, just going through a bad time at the moment. It sounds like you have a great husband and a lovely little girl, real blessings to count. Good luck to you, let us know how you get on.

Thanks everyone for your advice!