C*nt

[D0lphine]

What would you do if a partner called you a c*nt?

Would you end it there and then? Or would you be ok with an apology.

He called it me once and I refused to speak to him until he apologised. We were going through a bad patch with snoring and not sleeping and stuff but I was furious. It was ages ago and I had forgotten about it until now.

We do too, context is everything.

Is it a word he uses a lot? What are your arguments actually like?

I wouldn't be bothered tbh, mainly because I am a bit of a cunt sometimes 😂 If I felt he was being unreasonable I'd tell him to fuck off but it definitely wouldn't be a dealbreaker

I don't know anyone who says it, it's awful. If my OH ever said it in my company I'd be furious with him and if he called me that I'd be whatever more than furious is

I would think he had developed a brain tumour or something

In 35 years he has never sworn directly at me nor called me names. And vice versa.

we swear quite a lot, but not at each other

I have a rule that we don't swear at each other. We both swear, and to be fair, we might be laughing at each other and mucking about and call each other a dickhead once in a while. I've always said that you can't take things back when said in anger so if he called me a cunt I would expect him to pack up and leave for a few days until he had apologised and grovelled.

If you can't take back things you say in anger how would a couple of days of grovelling make a difference?

DP and I disagree, sometimes passionately. However we don’t yell AT one another or swear AT one another or call each other names. So it would be acceptable to say “for fucks sake this shouldn’t be this hard to agree on”. But “you are a bitch” would not be ok. So if the word cunt was used it wouldn’t bother me but if he called me a cunt / bitch / cow that would cross a line for me. Mostly he calls me a muppet but that is said in an affectionate way (and I affectionately call him a twat).

So context is important but generally being called names in anger is a hard line for me.

The C word is a vile word thats become increasingly normalised. Lots of people on mumsnet use it - I suppose they think that makes them cool or edgy or something but it truly sickens me. I don't know what your question is trying to resolve, its your decision. But I wouldn't hang around people who use that kind of language myself. I think it says alot about them, though they themselves are usually oblivious

Most of us swear a bit. Occasionally to let off steam. But not directed at partners and with such vicious names. Words that still have some taboos attached to them, though, as I said increasingly dropped.

I think it’s an absolutely vile word and shows he has no respect for you whatsoever.

DH has never used that word in my hearing, nor anything remotely similar. If he used it to me, not only would I be very upset on my own behalf, I'd realise he wasn't the person I'd thought him to be.

So yes I would end it.

"would think he had developed a brain tumour or something

In 35 years he has never sworn directly at me nor called me names. And vice versa.

we swear quite a lot, but not at each other"

Same.

A close family member called me the c word in a text message and I haven't spoke to them since. I did wait to see if they would apologise before cutting contact in case they had done it in a temper and now regretted it, as I could have understood and forgiven this as we all make mistakes. In this person's case it was the last straw in a long history of disrespect and I couldn't tolerate it without it affecting my own self esteem. I could not bring myself to try to approach them to discuss it when they didn't apologise as I was so affected. I do hope things are different for you though and that you do get an apology as I don't think being so disrespectful to people close to you is acceptable behaviour for anyone to put up with.

We do a fair bit of casual cunting in our house.

But you clearly don't, so it would probably be a big deal. In which case, you have to tell him you don't find it acceptable.

Mine did this once, about two years ago, and although it was in the middle of baby induced sleep deprivation I don't think I've truly forgiven or forgotten.

We don't curse at each other and never had.

What an awful word.

I think we teach people how to treat us.

He now believes using such awful language is acceptable in your relationship with him.

No decent man calls a woman such a word, particularly in anger, but I guess only you know what your standards are.

It is the type of language I expect would from scum to use towards a woman.

“You’re just a nasty cunt” spoken in anger to me was the straw that broke the camel’s back… that and being gaslit by being told “everybody” talks like that to each other in relationships.

very happily divorced.