Marriage

[Anonymous36]

I’ve never posted so not sure what to do but here goes. I’ve been married for nearly 10 years. Today I found my husbands phone filming me in the bathroom without me knowing. I have huge hang ups about my body and have serious self poor image as he knows. I don’t let him see me properly naked and he knows how I feel. I was sat on the toilet when I noticed it pointing at me in the stand where all the shampoos are. I found the video showing how he placed it and couldn’t bring myself to watch anymore. This isn’t the first time I found a recording device. I found the camera we have that is normally pointing to the car behind the television in the bedroom watching me. I moved it and it alerted him so he told me one of the kids must have been messing around with it. It’s left me feeling awful and violated if I’m honest. I feel sick today. I don’t know if I’m over reacting and maybe this is ok but to me it isn’t. I just need some advice I have no idea what to do ?! We haven’t really been intimate for over a year due to problems in the marriage and how I’ve been quite down for so long and stuck in my head. I feel like it’s my fault because of this but I still don’t think this is the right thing for someone to do without the other person knowing. Am I wrong for feeling like this ?

He’s broken the law and your trust in him
Call the police, the solicitors, anyone who can help you leave him

Yes this is a crime . Hope you are ok xx

It sounds like your marriage has already broken down if you haven't been intimate for a year. I presume this is your decision and should just end the marriage.. rather than drag it out. This would just be the nail in the coffin that would spur me on to knock the whole thing on the head. (Via a visit to the police station to report what is a crime)

Omg I would kick his ass to the kurb,I would also report him to the police x

This is a crime and he should be reported to the police. I realise he is your husband but protecting him will not do anyone here any favours. He has likely been doing this your entire relationship.

And do not remain with him because of it for the kids either, they will not thank you for doing so.

Thank you, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t in the wrong for feeling like this and justified for being mortified. Not sure how to do all this but I know now I need to do something. Thank you all for your help

How vile.

I don't see how you can stay with him after this. It's such a violation.
Ask him to leave though. Why should you go when he is clearly in the wrong here.

You can never trust him. Ask him to leave and divorce him. You deserve so much better. Consider if you want to inform the police. He's just vile.

I'm very sorry this happened to you. It will be very hard to trust him after this. He has completely broken your trust, I want you to know your feelings are valid. Take your time to process. 💐

Thank you it means a lot to have support and that I’m not crazy feeling like this

Awful and illegal. Have you got evidence? Go to the police and leave him immediately. Xx

Jesus! I’m so sorry op. That is just so wrong and awful. There have been similar threads on here before and it’s just grim as fuck. He needs to go. Now. Out, down the road, with his phone rammed into an orifice of your choosing……He’s a rancid fuck and you deserve so much better.

My ex did this. I pressed charges and he went to prison. I would not stand for it and neither should you. I was speechless and felt sick when the detectives found other devices around the house. My ex even recorded me speaking with the police at home unbeknownst to me. Disgraceful behaviour.

This makes me feel sick to my stomach. How old are your kids . Is this a shared bathroom?

How are you op x