34 and think I’m going to be single with a child

[Beyyersj]

Me and DP are not getting on. He’s absolutely obsessed with work. I’m about half way through the pregnancy and feel so shit about the relationship. He’s not terrible by any means but just wrapped up constantly in his job. I don’t think I can take it in the long run. I’m so worried about the baby and feel sad we will be alone if I leave. I doubt I would meet anyone else, all my social circle are married and settled.

Just feeling really sad and wanted to talk. I’ve told DP how I feel but nothing changes.

Was he always that way?

@Tamzo85 yeah he was but I’m feeling it much more intensely now as it’s clear he won’t shift priorities for the baby. Friend have said he will in due course but I’m not hopeful.

I mean, people are who they are. If you choose to have a child with him knowing that then what was the reasoning at the time and why has it changed now? What is the situation with work wise in terms of you either not working, working PT etc.

I think your friends are right, keep in mind you don’t actually have a baby yet in his eyes, you have a pregnancy. Also if he’s a workaholic working full time then surely you weren’t expecting him to do half the childcare and looking after baby?
What exactly were you expecting and was it talked about?

Don’t do anything till after the birth, as PP said to him you are pregnant, once the little babe is here he may change priorities. I’m 28 weeks and my DP keeps trying to delay the nursery saying we have heaps of time etc etc. I think it’s a bit hard for men as it’s just a bump they don’t feel the kicks and butterflies and constant stress.

However, it seems your not married so have the baby have your surname just in case he is still distant after baby is born

@Imogensmumma

Ive gotta say giving the baby her surname basically is a giving him the message that she wants to break up. That will make things bad when there is potentially no problem.

You chose to have a baby with him knowing the situation and now you are considering breaking up the baby's family because you've decided you don't like it 🤷🏻‍♀️