Hiring a PI

[BelleEnd1]

Does anyone have experience in doing this?
Any idea of the rough cost? I am south East so I imagine quite expensive.

I'm going out of my mind and despite not having very much money, I really feel I have reached this last resort.

Why do you feel you need one? Do you feel like you need to "prove" something to yourself?

What is the investigation? More detail needed

Just dump whoever it is you’re wanting the private investigator to investigate. Much cheaper.

Bit they may be innocent🤔😊

You don't need proof to leave...

Don't waste your money!! Have a conversation with him, share your concerns. See what he says and see how you feel after. Most of all trust your intuition. I think you already know the answer :(

Would need to go through the detail to agree a price....each case is different depending what you actually want out of it

If DH hired a PI on me, the marriage would be over as far as I'm concerned. It's a total nullification of our vows.

It's over either way, save your money.

Honestly just tell us the problem on here, we'll figure it out. No pi needed

If you need a pi it has gone faaaar beyond anything that is salvageable.

DH has a close female friend. They go out once a week drinking with another woman. He takes them both home in a taxi. He appears to be staying at the woman's house for a couple of hours at like 1-3am. She has a husband and a small child that must be at the house at that time though.

Tell him the set up makes you uncomfortable & you'd like for it to stop.

If he's a decent husband worth staying with, he'll say he understands and will stop doing it.

If he's an arsehole worth leaving (and is possibly cheating) he'll kick up a fuss & say you're being ridiculous.

If you already know he's at her house for 2 hours in the middle of the night a pi isn't going to tell you anything more? They can't access the house or see what's going on behind closed curtains!

As pp said say the arrangement makes you feel uncomfortable and discuss it.

How would he feel if you did exactly the same? Start from there.

Do you ever socialise with her? Is she a colleague? How long have they been friends?

Yes, she is a colleague.
I have been out with them once. It was ok. She was nice.
Just have this nagging feeling about it. I have previously raised my concerns and he told me not to be silly.

Hiring a PI is a bit extreme. Just tell him how you feel.

Trust your instinct

Is a PI said that in the 2 weeks he followed your husband he didn't cheat would you then trust him forevermore?

Honestly you can save the money for a PI and use it to pay a babysitter (if you need someone to watch your child) and rent a car (so your husband doesnt recognize your car).

I assume you know which days they meet up? Then just follow them, to the bar and afterwards.

Im pretty sure your suspicions will be confirmed, PIs cant enter a person's house, but if your husband shows so little regard even after you brought it up, odds are he ll be doing something inappropriate OUTSIDE her house already so you ll have your proof.

Do you and he go out once a week too? Or is he putting his time and energy into socialising with these two other women and not you?

Honestly, I know there will be lots of cool wives on here who think it’s just dandy that their husband has a female best friend, but for me I wouldn’t be ok with my DP/H going out for what is essentially a date with another woman.

(And yes, if someone is gay or bi it must be very complicated drawing a line between what’s a date and what’s a night out with a friend, but I still wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who spent their free time with someone else instead of me!)

If you and he spend the same amount of time going out as he does with his friend, are you honestly ok with it as long as there is nothing sexual going on?

One of the weirdest things I've ever read. Does the other woman go back to the house as well? 1-3am ?? week night or weekend? Every week???How do you know he is actually going to her house? I've no idea how much a PI costs but I think I'd have to follow him, this is just so bizarre.

He appears to be staying at the woman's house for a couple of hours at like 1-3am. She has a husband and a small child that must be at the house at that time though.

Surely he can't be up to now good if her husband is there? Or he could leave his phone in his car at her house and go somewhere else by lift or with a taxi.

If he knows you can track his phone, then that could be his decoy.

Once a week with 2 women is a but much though.

Is the other woman single?
Have a look on Google to find a PI.

The PI can only really confirm the bit you already know as he can't see what's happening inside the house though?

The thing that's odd is that you know he's there between those times presumably because he's told you? Why is he out so late and why is he there at that time every week? Ask him what they're doing. Why doesn't he just come home after dropping them off in a taxi? Is her dh there or does he work nights? Ask him again whats going on. In the meantime do a bit of digging on facebook on her husband for clues. It could be they aren't even together anymore and that she has someone to look after her dc so that they are there alone or dc is with the dad.