I know that a lot of people will instinctively know how to do this and that it's odd that I don't.
After a long journey in therapy and life improvements I've realised that my parents were very emotionally immature. So:
They couldn't handle feeling negative emotions and so reacted explosively all the time. Drinking was involved etc.
They both over confided in me and leaned on me emotionally which has resulted in me being a bit of a needy/anxious mess. I'm very used to walking on egg shells and trying to manage the emotions of others. This has made me quite withdrawn and I can often be cold (don't intend to be) because I am so used to shutting down my own feelings.
They were quite emotionally abusive and controlling so I have a lot of self doubt and self worth issues on the go.
Growing up no one could tell me how to manage emotions because they didn't know and preferred to pretend they didn't exist probably due to their own quite traumatic backgrounds.
This is horribly embarrassing to admit but I've spent years being quite dramatic and OTT. I never intended to be, I was just hardwired to either ignore emotion or if it gets too much then totally lose control. Obviously that kind of behavior is annoying so I tended to garner pretty bad reactions from people. It wasn't until I met my DP and he explained I could react another way that I started to change.
In therapy I've been told to notice emotions but not respond to them. Also that if I feel bad like anxious or scared to "pull it closer not push it away" as a way of dealing with it.
I'm sorry to be a prize dunce but I have no idea what that means. My DP has transformed himself with therapy and he says the same things.
Also how do you "value yourself", I literally don't get that statement it might as well be in another language.
My apologies in advance if this is frustrating to read. Because I'm someone that shuts down easily I don't think I can convey to a therapist how bad this anxiety I feel actually is. They think I mean a bit nervous or having a bad day. It's taken my life from me really and it's honestly getting worse and worse.
What kind of things do you do to manage your emotions?
Thanks in advance.