Am I overthinking?

[KirRose]

Im not sure if a guy who is married is flirting with me? And I don’t know how to act?

He is married, I am married (happily). I know of him from work but don’t know him. Not spoken to him. We had a area team away day and he was there, we got chatting as we were in the same group and later on he was touching my shoulder, grabbing my arm (jokingly) and I didn’t think too much of it.
Saw him in the office again and he came over said hi, put his hand on my shoulder. This isn’t how people say hi? I know we’ve had covid but this isn’t how I remember it? Then I was getting a drink and he came over asked how I was and said “you look real good” and I was like what sorry?? And he said you look really nice today. I was just like thanks. I’m sure when we were walking to desks he touched my lower back as well. And everytime I look his way he raises eyebrows at me in a flirty way.

I don’t know am I overthinking this now? Don’t get me wrong - he’s a v good looking guy but like he’s married I’m married and he knows that. Is this weird? Any advice? I don’t even want to say hey are you flirting with me because if he says no I will look like a right idiot.

it was so much easier working from home!!!!

is he like this with anyone else? alarm bells are ringing from what you've said.

Keep your responses short… you look nice… thanks
how are you.. ok

if he touches you move away he does it again if he does it agin speak to his manager.

If you're married and someone is behaving towards you in a way that feels inappropriate to you, then don't flirt back, and back away. 'Are you flirting with me?' is completely unnecessary. If he is or isn't doesn't matter, does it? You're responsible for your vows, not his. He can throw himself at you, but if you keep walking away, he'll stop.

What are you hoping for from the thread?

Sounds cringe. I'd be avoiding him as much as possible

No not like this with anyone else. It’s really weird. So many people fancy him and apparently a few years ago he was a right one. But then got married settled and he was normal and now he seems to be flirty with me?

Why do you care, though?

I mean I don’t think I flirt back? I haven’t said anything to flirt back. I didn’t stand there and say you look great too? I think I was more surprised he said anything! It also doesn’t feel right that someone does that…

I know even when your married you can find other people attractive, and people are still good looking to you and you can look. I know guys look at me just like I know girls look at my husband but actually acting flirty is too much?

just getting a perspective of whether this is him being flirty or whether I am just being OTT and it’s nothing because maybe I’m not used to an office anymore.

There's no 'OTT'. If you don't like his behaviour, keep your distance from him. Tell him you think it's inappropriate. Report him if he carries on. It's up to you, not an external set of rules about what's 'acceptable'.

Yes, he’s flirting with you.

No, it’s not the new post-lockdown norm in the office.

He’s married. He knows you’re married. No he shouldn’t be doing it.

But he is, and it’s intentional.

He’s basically carrying on with his bachelor life ways and testing the waters for an extra-marital/office shag – that’s what it boils down to.

Yes, married/attached people can and do feel attracted to other people from time to time but the key thing is whether or not they act on those feelings.
So the fact that he’s married and he knows you’re married but he’s still flirting with you – what does that tell you about HIM?

If you’re not interested in a meaningless extra-marital/office shag then you need to nip his behaviour in the bud.