Okay... one last stab before dying alone

[FuckingNoise]

Okay. I've had three absolutely traumatising heartbreaks in my 37 years, the third of which has produced enough bitterness within me to build Lemon City. But I'm as healed as I'll ever be. I doubt I'll ever even find anyone worth kissing again never mind considering a relationship with, but on the offchance the universe might throw me a bone I'm giving the vile OLD one last time. Just having an occasional swipe a couple of times per day... so these are my deal profile breakers:

"Hey sexy"
"My kids are my world and if you don't like that you can fuck off" etc
Instagram lives, constant travellers
Topless selfies
Salsa dancing. Just NO
"I don't know what I'm looking for"
Recently seperated
Recently out of LTR
Pointless, unclear photos
No narrative at all

I've probably missed shit loads. It's fucking grim out there. Don't mind a fish photo though.

Good luck. I live with my last stab, met at 37.....

Add:
Does triathlons every weekend.
Likes wild camping.
Chronically unhealthy and I’d be likely to become his carer within five years.
Smokes.
Bigoted.

I'm increasingly happy on my own!

Sorry, in your late 30s, I think these need to come off the list. In fact I’d red flag people with no longterm relationship history. I also think people who like being in relationships are more likely to get looking quickly when they relationship is finally over, and in LTR, it could have been dying for a while so the split is final.

Recently separated
Recently out of LTR

It is possible! I am 39 and have now met the man of my dreams! Had to kiss a bloody lot of frogs though to find him!

Good luck!

I’m currently in on ‘my last stab’ too. Rejoined two weeks ago and matched / spoken to about ten men and I’m meeting one tonight, all the rest have fizzled.

I’ll the add following:
Photos sticking their tongue out
The words ‘no drama’ / honesty / liars’ in bio
Photos of their kids or even worse photos of kids and then they say ‘not my kid’. Does the parent know they’re using their child on an app?!
First photo is one with a very handsome man, you always know they’ll be the other one

@Darhon But recently out of a long-term relationship often means the wife doesn't realise that they are separated!

Im 33 and my relationship history is

Age 18-21 first serious love. He was always talking to other women and likely cheated. Fancied 2 other women who he wouldn't stop talking to for me. Dumped his ass.

For a month after this I met a nice guy and had a fling rebound. I liked him alot but my exes family gave him grief and we ended.

Age 22-23 for 18 months I was with the next one. He turned out to be as bad ad the first. Obsessed with girls. Actually slightly worse. He went to weddings and added the bridesmaids. He flirted at work. Pointed out hot women in the street. We split!

23-31 I had an 8 year relationship with my children's dad. The problem here was qfter the jerks I settled for Mr too nice. He was lovely and never once looked elsewhere. He was loyal and a great dad and looked after me. But we had nothing in common. Conversations and stuff never happened. We got bored. We bickered about the house and argued and debated too much. He never sorted the garden or did the tip runs and I was stuck without a car and already doing all the rest. We broke up.

31- 33 (last month) The last 18 months I was with a man 15 years older. Thought he'd be perfect for me. But he was the worst. Played games. Had all this childish women drama. An ex clinging on. No money. Couldn't get out the past. Abusive. Lied. Got angry. I was putting all the effort in. He has broken my heart.

I've now decided not to do anything and if I meet someone in the next couple of years I want it to be organically and natural. Out in the wild. I have no energy for online. I've learned massively what I don't like. I'll list mine.

Hey babes
Offering you sex the following week before you've even found out anything about eahcother.
Creepily following loads of womens profiles on Facebook.
Accepting friend requesting and then writing gorgeous babe etc on your latest pic
Friends with exes is now a no for me unless kids are involved.
Not having money.
Serial dating

Since being single I've been chased by a married man. I've also had an arsehole tell me that I needed to forget my abusive ex after 2 weeks this was! Told me I could have him for a whole weekend instead. Lucky me aye.

Good luck.

I'd love wild camping! As long as it involves getting pissed!